Shorties #22

Spring has sprung, and that means spring cleaning! Not only does the apartment need some tidying, but the Netflix queue needs a good pruning as well. I've been able to catch up on a few of the things that have been clogging my lists, which means it's the perfect time to fire off another Shorties entry.

#1: Under the Skin: Once in a while, I'll take note of a movie, but intentionally let it pass me by, since it doesn't sound like it would be to my tastes. But then, it'll keep getting talked up by people whose opinions I trust, so I'll circle back around and give it a shot. Such was the case with this 2013 sci-fi movie, which stars Scarlett Johansson as a predatory alien. You definitely have to be in the mood for such a quiet, thoughtful movie about the nature of attraction, violence, and empathy, and luckily, it struck me just right. It's very difficult to make an art film that functions as a genre film (and vice versa), and Under the Skin pulls it off. (Grade: A-)

#2: Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping: This is another movie I let slip by until I couldn't ignore its critical praise anymore. I used to have little use for Andy Samberg, but then I became a huge fan of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, so I decided to give this Lonely Island movie a fair shot. And once again, I'm glad I did! This 2016 send-up of Behind the Music style documentaries follows superstar Conner4Real from his days in a mega-popular boy band to his implosion as a solo artist. Comedies are an automatic success when they make me belly laugh several times, so there you go. Both the songs and script are reliably funny, and there are tons of great cameos from celebrities who are totally game to make fun of the culture surrounding stardom. (Grade: B+)

#3: The Lobster: I have a long track record of preferring movies that attempt something interesting. Even if it fails, I like to see something that approaches the story in a refreshing way. That's definitely the case with the 2015 movie The Lobster, which takes place in a universe where single people are rounded up and forced to forge some sort of monogamous commitment. If they can't do so successfully, they are turned into the animal of their choice. Colin Farrell plays David, who is sent to a hotel to find a mate, and we follow his attempts to do so, followed by additional obstacles when he leaves. People have asked me if I liked this movie, and I always respond with a few moments of silence, followed by: "I'm glad I watched it". I don't know that I can say I enjoyed it, per se, but I'm still thinking about it long after I watched it, and there aren't many movies I can say that about. (Grade: B)

#4: Stay Up With Me: Short story collections are a favorite of mine, so when one gets positively reviewed somewhere, I'll usually make an effort to grab a copy from the library. The most recent collection I read was Tom Barbash's 2013 book, Stay Up With Me. Back when I talked about Single, Carefree, Mellow, I praised the stories for kind of being about nothing; they simply explored the inner lives of their protagonists. It turns out there's an art to observational stories where nothing major happens, because this book takes the same approach, but less successfully in my estimation. If there's a unifying theme, it's the fragility of human relationships, and the stories do a lot of ruminating on broken marriages, tense family bonds, and crumbling professional connections. I do want to single out "Letters from the Academy", which was a great story, and somehow creepy and relatable simultaneously. Overall, though, these stories were as melancholy as George Saunders', but not as engaging. (Grade: B-)

#5: Muppets Most Wanted: As a child of the '80s, how could I not be a Muppets fan? By the same token, as a child of the '80s, how could any modern Muppets movie possibly stack up to the classics? Short answer: They can't. Still, I took this 2014 movie for a spin, and was reasonably satisfied. I did like the story, in which the Muppet gang that just reunited in 2011's The Muppets are talked into going on a world tour so that their manager and Kermit's evil doppelganger Constantine can rob nearby museums. The cameos are fun, and the musical numbers are as jolly as ever. It's just that they'll never be able to recapture the magic of The Great Muppet Caper (Grade: B)

Shorties #21

Since it's getting to the time of year to write out our best-of lists, I need to wrap up the mentions of what culture I've been consuming in 2016. By happenstance, this last Shorties entry of the year is a wealth of diversity, containing one title from each of the entertainment categories: Movies, TV, Books, Games, and Music.

#1: Bad Moms: I am emphatically not in the target audience of this 2016 movie about a trio of suburban moms who get fed up with the constant demand of perfection from their kids and the other moms around town, and who decide to let themselves enjoy life for once. That said, it's always a pleasant surprise when a movie that isn't trying to impress me does so anyway. Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell are very good as the moms who are cracking under their familial pressure, while Kathryn Hahn just about steals the entire movie as the foul-mouthed rebel mom who doesn't give a good goddamn what anyone thinks. Toss in Christina Applegate as an ice queen, and you've got yourself a pretty fun flick. (Grade: B+)

#2: Food Wars (Season 2): I've already described how I found myself drawn to the first season of this anime, and so I happily jumped into the second, released onto Hulu in 2016. Soma is still facing down his classmates in dramatic food competitions, and the food animation is still as droolworthy as ever. However something that sparked in the first season is missing now, and those are the sections where nobody's challenging someone else. I miss the interactions between Soma and his house-mates, as they build friendships that give them the confidence to be stronger cooks. This season is all about the battles. It also unnecessarily introduces a ton of new characters, at the expense of the ones we were still getting to know. Oh! They also changed the theme music, and I much preferred the original. It's still a fascinating show, and though the last episode felt awfully final, if they ever make another season, I'm on board. (Grade: B)

#3: The Witches - Salem, 1692: I do wish the morals and lessons America should have learned from the tragedy and horrors of Salem, Massachusetts didn't keep making themselves terrifyingly relevant in modern times. Yet, here we are. However, even though we all know the basics (people executed because a bunch of teenage girls accused them of witchcraft), I wanted to get a deeper understanding of just what in the hell happened in 1692. Stacy Schiff's 2015 book explores not only the people who found themselves at the end of a hangman's noose for the crime of being unpopular, but the society that allowed such hysteria to take root. A lot of non-fiction is taken to task for writing styles that are too dry, but I actually have the opposite request. Sometimes, Schiff's language is a little too flowery, and I just wanted her to get to the point and tell me what was happening. That said, it was an overall entertaining read from which I learned a lot, and that's all I ask when it comes to reading about history. (Grade: B)

#4: Jackbox Party Pack 3: We play all sorts of tabletop games at my friend's weekly game night, but this is the first time we've incorporated an interactive technological one. Sure, we all play video games too, but that tends to be a more solitary activity. This one involves the whole gang. 2016's Jackbox Party Pack 3 is made by the same folks who gave us You Don't Know Jack, which I used to enjoy (and dominate at!) quite a bit. They've upped their game, so to speak, by making this a video game that people play together from their phones. There are five games available, from "Quiplash 2", which is somewhat like Cards Against Humanity, as your friends vote for who had the best/funniest answer, to "Trivia Murder Party", in which you'd better answer questions correctly, or the homicidal host will tear your little stuffed doll avatar to shreds. We've been having a lot of fun with this game pack for several weeks now, so I can definitely recommend it for your next party. That said, bring a charger. Your phone's battery will be taking some punishment. (Grade: B+)

#5: "White Knuckles" - Boh Doran: It's going to be tough to narrow down a favorite song of 2016, but I do want to feature one of the runners-up, which is this 2015 jam that should give you a good idea of where my musical tastes lie this year. Here, have a listen. I could talk about how I relate to the lyrics, which allude to holding on to something (or someone) too tightly, as if you're afraid it's going to slip through your fingers at any moment. But if I'm being honest, I just really like the tune. (Grade: B+)

Shorties #20

The days are rapidly getting shorter, so that must mean it's time for some Shorties! OK, fine, that was a weak transition. Give me some coffee, and I'll do better. In the meantime, how about we take a quick look at a handful of movies?

#1: World of Tomorrow: This 2015 short film (it clocks in at 17 minutes) was nominated for an Animated Short Oscar for last year's awards. It was made by Don Hertzfeldt, whose work I've liked before. It becoming available on Netflix streaming was the final incentive I needed to watch it, and I'm glad I did! It tells the story of a little girl who is visited by a future version of herself. Future Emily tells Emily Prime in a flat, dispassionate voice about all the wonders and horrors that await in the future world, but since Emily Prime is just a little kid, she's more interested in pretty flashing colors than in the plight of clones. It's amazing how much pathos and story can be packed into just a handful of minutes, and World of Tomorrow is definitely worth your time. (Grade: A-)

#2: The Heat: I liked Bridesmaids and Spy, and Ghostbusters was decent enough, so I felt I had to fill in my final Paul Feig/Melissa McCarthy gap with 2013's movie about mismatched police partners (McCarthy and Sandra Bullock) attempting to take down a drug ring. It was okay, and I laughed out loud a few times, but it didn't blow me away. It seemed like an excuse for Melissa McCarthy to cut loose with some off-the-cuff profanity for an hour or so, and the humor that can be wrung from that is limited. Still, it was worth a Netflix watch. (Grade: B-)

#3: Force Majeure: This 2014 drama from Sweden made waves in international film chatter, and I remember reading how surprised everyone was when it wasn't nominated for an Oscar. My friend Kyle and I were looking for a movie to watch after dinner one evening, and this one had floated to the top of both our lists. A Swiss family is taking a ski vacation at a resort in the French Alps. One afternoon, as they sit on the patio enjoying lunch, a minor avalanche descends on the guests, freaking everyone out. Nobody is hurt, but when he sees the snow coming, the dad Tomas (Johannes Bah Kuhnke) hightails it out of the restaurant, leaving his wife (Lisa Loven Kongsli) behind, along with his children. At first, everyone is relieved that no harm was done, but the fact that Tomas' first instinct was to abandon his loved ones pulls a thread that threatens the entire family dynamic. It's a really fascinating movie that leads in interesting and realistic directions about how people react when their fight-or-flight response kicks in, and what that means about our relationships with others. (Grade: B+)

#4: The Peanuts Movie: I'll admit, I was suspicious of a modern take on Peanuts, which is such a classic property. Most remakes of childhood favorites are terrible, and I didn't want a smudge on Charlie Brown's legacy. But when this 2015 movie started getting decent word-of-mouth, I decided it was worth a Netflix rental. Happily, the filmmakers know how special these characters are, and were very respectful of the source material. That doesn't mean nothing's changed, of course. The animation has been updated, and for the first time ever, we actually meet the little red-haired girl that Charlie Brown has been so enamored with for decades. Though there was too much focus on Snoppy over the the kids, I know I'm in the minority on that opinion. Overall, though, this movie really captured the heartfelt, sincere tone of the original comic strip and cartoon specials. (Grade: B)

#5: The Overnight: I read a couple of things about this 2015 comedy, and figured Adam Scott was enough of a draw to check it out. He and Taylor Schilling play husband and wife, who are new in their neighborhood, and are looking for other friends. Their kid sparks an acquaintance with another child, whose dad is Jason Schwartzman. He invites them over for dinner with him and his wife (Judith Godrèche), and after a lot of liquor, the relationship forming between these people who find each other so fascinating starts to take a strange turn. The movie has its charms, and wasn't a waste of time or anything, but it seems to think itself really daring for "transgressions" that aren't that wild. It's not a bad movie, but nothing about it stands out as particularly noteworthy. (Grade: B-)

Shorties #19

Did you know I'm 5'5" on a good day? That must mean it's time for some good ol' fashioned Shorties!

#1: The D Train: I believe this mostly-ignored 2015 movie appeared on my radar thanks to the AV Club, and I thought its premise - small town yutz Jack Black tries to lure a famous high school classmate (James Marsden) back for the reunion and complications ensue - sounded intriguing enough to give it a whirl. Why? Because Marsden's character is bisexual and sleeps with Black's character on a whim, and I thought that would add an interesting wrinkle to an otherwise pedestrian story. Nope. By turns dull and mean-spirited, it barely held together well enough to be a Laundry Movie. (Grade: C)

#2: Food Wars (Season 1): In the last Shorties entry, I mentioned that I'm starting to try to get into some anime at my other nerdy friends' suggestions. The first season of Food Wars (2015) is currently streaming on Hulu, and it's really difficult to explain. 90% of it is the story of Soma, who's trying to follow in the footsteps of his father, a famous chef known the world over. Soma transfers into the most cutthroat culinary school in Japan, where he and his classmates are constantly being tested. The other 10% is oddly pornographic. Soma's food is often so good (or intentionally bad) that the taster's clothes burst off in surprise. One of his classmates wears nothing but a flimsy apron all the time. Another has boobs so big they threaten to burst out of the bikini tops she favors at every turn. That said, it's an inexplicably magnetic show. Some of the food animation makes me actively hungry, and even inspired me to try some Asian experimentation in the kitchen. While the first half of the season was better than the second half, I'm still giddy with anticipation for the next batch of episodes. Want to buy me the naked guy's apron in the meantime? (Grade: B+)

#3: Mud: In 2012, two movies kicked off the Matthew McConaughey comeback. One was Magic Mike. The other was this one, a drama that got writer/director Jeff Nichols a lot of attention. It's about a couple of kids who live in a poor community on the edge of a river and agree to help a charming drifter (McConaughey) reunite with his lost love (Reese Witherspoon), all while evading the bounty hunters who are after him. The first two thirds were very good, if a little slow. Slow can be a positive thing sometimes, though, and the sleepy way the plot unfolds works well with the characters and the world they inhabit. The last bit kicks into high gear and turns into a violent firefight right out of No Country for Old Men, and struck me as jarring and unnecessary. It wasn't a bad movie, overall, but I was expecting a lot more from it. (Grade: B-)

#4: Do I Sound Gay?: I've fallen behind on keeping up with documentaries, and obviously have a vested interest in the topic of this 2014 one, which explores the stereotype of the gay voice. Writer/director David Thorpe wonders what can and should be done about how people think of how gay men talk, what with the high pitch and the lisps. He interviews various people about the subject, and everyone from George Takei to Tim Gunn to Dan Savage has a different perspective. Thorpe also goes to a speech coach to see if the "gay voice" can be trained out. Some parts of the movie are a little contrived, but others are genuinely educational and affecting. As a gay man who's not overly thrilled with his own speaking voice, I'd give it a solid recommend. (Grade: B)

#5: Me and Earl and the Dying Girl: This is one controversial movie, and not because it's about anything explosive like abortion or gun control. This 2015 film is the relatively gentle story of an awkward teen who makes dumb movies with his friend and who is importuned by his mother into hanging out with a classmate who has just been diagnosed with cancer. What makes it controversial, then? Reviewers have been taking it to task for making all the characters cardboard background to the problems of the straight white male protagonist who has supportive parents. While Greg (Thomas Mann) wrings his hands over his future and unrequited-but-becomes-requited crush on the popular girl, his film partner Earl (RJ Cycler) and even the titular dying girl Rachel (Olivia Cooke) seem to exist only to talk him through his angst. Those problems aside, it's still a decent movie, and Molly Shannon gives a particularly standout performance as Rachel's mom, who's never seen without a glass of wine and is trying to put a brave, brassy face on the impending grief she knows is headed her way. If only more of the movie had been about those kinds of storylines, and not Greg's whining over college admissions. (Grade: B-)

Shorties #18

The holidays are almost here! Time has become more precious than ever! Let's bang out some Shorties!

#1: Mortdecai: I knew going in that this was one of the worst-reviewed movies of 2015. But I'm always trying to make new friends in the neighborhood, and a recent acquaintance had invited me over for chili and a movie. How could I argue when he picked this out? So, I was boxed into watching a movie I fully expected to suck. And guess what! It did! Mortdecai stars Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Ewan McGregor. It's supposed to be a charming romp through the world of art theft, but it's painfully unfunny. Half the movie is Depp's character talking about his mustache in an inexplicably goofy accent. It was a pretty excruciating experience to sit through, but hey. At least the chili was good. (Grade: D+)

#2: Song of the Sea: I was mostly interested in this 2014 animated film because I really liked director Tomm Moore's first film, The Secret of Kells. The animation style of Song of the Sea is just as hauntingly beautiful, if not more so. I just got through saying I don't really watch movies for style over substance, but here we are at another exception. Song of the Sea is about an impetuous young boy who is generally annoyed by his younger sister, but when she starts manifesting strange behavior, the two of them go on a quest to save the spirit world by freeing some mystical fairies. The story is fine, but the visuals are the real reason to watch this movie. It is simply gorgeous. (Grade: B+)

#3: Fables Vol. 3: Storybook Love: I've been continuing with my cautious foray into comic books, but while the Archie series continues to impress, this latest volume of Fables fell flat. Whether we're following Jack as he spars with Death or some random reporter named Tommy Sharp, the stories just couldn't grab me this time around. Not even Bigby and Snow White hunting the fugitive Goldilocks could stop me from yawning through the whole issue. I'm not sure if I'll continue with the Fables series, or just wait until the next episode of the game comes out. (Grade: C)

#4: Hunter x Hunter - Seasons 1 & 2: Speaking of entertainment worlds that I have no experience with, I decided to try out a little anime. A friend recommended this show that's streaming on Netflix, and I agreed to give it a try. What a pleasant surprise! In Season 1 of Hunter x Hunter, we follow a group of new friends who are going through an intense test to become Hunters, the most respected profession in the world. Their motivations vary wildly, but they band together to beat their competitors and make it to the end of the test. Season 2 is post-test, and focuses in on two of the crew, Gon and Killua. They enter a series of arena fights to make money, and befriend a trainer who promises to teach them to harness more mystical powers than just raw strength. For an anime newbie like me, this was a perfect entry into the genre, and I'm looking forward to starting Season 3. (Grade: B)

#5: The Halloween Tree: I know we're past the Halloween season, but I couldn't resist this brief 1972 novel by Ray Bradbury. Eight friends get ready to go trick-or-treating, but realize that the coolest member of their gang, Pipkin, is missing. They catch a brief glimpse of him, but he seems deathly ill. Soon after, they meet the mysterious Mr. Moundshroud, who whisks them off on a journey to teach them what Halloween is really all about, giving them hope that they can save Pipkin in the process. It was a lot like those shows purporting to teach kids the real meaning of Christmas, but given that it's Halloween instead, this was a lot more fun. Just reading it gave me the sensation of standing in a windy graveyard, with lengthening shadows all around me. Bradbury was a master of writing atmosphere, and this was a terrific sandbox for him to play in. (Grade: B+)

Shorties #17

I ran my skimmer through the pool of pop culture, and it brought up another lovely batch of Shorties for me. Shall we get to it?

#1: They Came Together: I love Wet Hot American Summer, but aside from that, David Wain projects have turned out to be pretty lackluster for me. The Ten was fine, but nothing to write home about. Wanderlust was even more blah. But I felt I couldn't skip They Came Together, a 2014 movie that promised to skewer romantic comedies. While it was better than Wanderlust, the jokes were just about as broad, content to call out the cliches of romcoms without ever really saying anything clever about them. Still, Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd are as charming as ever, and that helped elevate it. It's not a good movie, but it's not a waste of time, either. (Grade: B-)

#2: Dragon Age: Dawn of the Seeker: I don't watch anime in general, but Dragon Age: Inquisition is likely to snag the position of my favorite game of the year, so I thought it'd be worth renting this 2012 movie from Netflix. Meh. The story is a prequel of sorts, following Cassandra's days in the Chantry before any of the game events take place. She's falsely accused of treason, and must evade capture while preventing an attack on the Divine. It's not a bad premise, but despite some beautiful animation, this just isn't worth your time. The good animation is balanced out with some that looks like it was done with MS Paint, and the voiceover work is garbage. I don't know if this was meant to be lovingly done and just isn't to my tastes, or if it was a throwaway project to make a few quick bucks. In either case, I'll be sticking to the games from now on. (Grade: C)

#3: Horrible Bosses: Sometimes, I'll arrive at a movie/TV show late, simply because I never had the time to devote the attention I thought it deserves. That's why I haven't picked up Orphan Black or The Americans yet. But sometimes, I'll arrive at a movie/TV show late because there's a little alarm going off in my mind, warning me that no matter how popular it is, I'm going to hate it. Unfortunately, this 2011 movie falls squarely in the latter camp, and I should have listened to that alarm. The general public loved this movie about a trio of hapless friends (Jason Bateman, Ed Helms, and Charlie Day) planning to kill their awful bosses (Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrell, and Jennifer Aniston). They liked it so much they made a sequel. I, on the other hand, found it dumb and obnoxious. Jennifer Aniston was the one bright spot, playing against type as a nymphomaniacal dentist. (Grade: C-)

#4: Marry Me: Much like They Came Together up there, I'm always willing to give a shot to something from a team that's put out something I've loved. In this case, David Caspe's one-season sitcom aired in the 2014-2015 season, and when you combine the showrunner of Happy Endings with a cast led by Casey Wilson and Ken Marino, I'm on board. I don't know what was missing, but this show just lacked the spark that makes for a good sitcom. It was a lot like A to Z: Not bad, but just not a lot of there there. Plus, the fat, bearded sidekick in Marry Me was irritating, where Henry Zebrowski was pretty charming. If there was one thing to recommend about Marry Me, it was Tymberlee Hill as Kay. She was awesome, and needs to be cast in better things tout de suite. (Grade: B-)

#5: Tim's Vermeer: This 2013 documentary was created by Penn and Teller, and got some pretty good reviews when it was first released. I never got around to watching it, until I realized I needed a good movie to watch with my mom. Oh, perfect! Johannes Vermeer was a Dutch painter who painted almost photorealistic works, achieving what few other artists could in terms of capturing light. He's somewhat of a mystery, since his paintings lack the usual practice sketches lurking underneath their surfaces. Tim Jenison, an inventor and entrepreneur hypothesized that Vermeer used a camera obscura and a mirror to perfect his paintings, and sets about demonstrating this by copying "The Music Lesson" from scratch. While it's an interesting subject, it suffers a bit as a movie. Once Jenison demonstrates his ability to reproduce Vermeer's work, despite any previous artistic experience, the rest of the film is just him filling in the canvas. Still, it was an enlightening experience. (Grade: B)

Shorties #16

What better way to wrap up the shortest month than with a Shorties post? THERE IS NO BETTER WAY. Let's get to it!

#1: Hours: One evening, James picked this 2013 Paul Walker movie for us to watch, stretched out his legs (thus pinning me to the couch), and promptly fell asleep. So I was the only one who had to suffer through this. Not to speak ill of the dead, but it's unlikely that Paul Walker would have gone on to win an Oscar. I'm told he was fine in mindless action flicks, but when an entire drama rests on his shoulders (he's alone for about 97% of the screen time here), he...doesn't shine. His character's wife dies in childbirth, and while still at the hospital, the worst of Hurricane Katrina strikes. He refuses to evacuate with everyone else, because his infant daughter needs to stay in the incubator, so it's soon just him and the baby, trying to stave off the elements and looters. It's not a terrible premise, but Walker was just not strong enough an actor to carry this. (Grade: C)

#2: Don Jon: Good actors have their creative valleys, too. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is one of my favorites, but I'm not quite sure what to make of this 2013 movie, his writing/directing debut. He also stars in it as Jon, a Jersey meathead who spends his evenings banging girls from the bar, and his days jerking it to internet porn. He agrees to knock off the porn when he meets Barbara (Scarlett Johansson), but finds it difficult to keep his promise. The movie also likens Jon's unrealistic expectations of women with Barbara's unrealistic expectations, which she has acquired from the romantic comedies she's obsessed with. Jon wants to make it work with her, but is also intrigued by the more straight-forward older woman in one of his classes (Julianne Moore). It's not a bad movie, but I have some difficulty about its message regarding women. Though I'm a fan of JGL, I almost don't want to know what his point is here, because I might just not be as big a fan after I heard it. (Grade: B-)

#3: Troop Beverly Hills: I've heard this 1989 movie bandied around the internet as a cult favorite, but had never seen it before now. It's your basic, '80s, overcoming-your-adversities-via-pluck-and-a-montage-or-two romp, which is a genre I happen to enjoy heartily. Shelly Long is widely derided for leaving Cheers for movies, but she's made some good ones, and this fun little jaunt fits nicely among them. Long plays a spoiled Californian shopaholic who is in the midst of a separation, and attempts to distract herself and prove herself by leading her daughter's pseudo-Girl Scout troop. Hijinx ensue. This movie is a hotbed of before-they-were-famous sightings. Shelley Morrison! Carla Gugino! Tori Spelling! Kellie Martin! Jenny Lewis! That...neighbor girl from the show about VICKI the robot! Though Troop Beverly Hills will never land on the AFI Top 100, it was certainly a fun way to spend the evening. (Grade: B+)

#4: A to Z: I like Cristin Milioti a lot, and after she was treated so shamefully by How I Met Your Mother, I was happy to see her chosen to star in another show. Unfortunately, it was for this slightly underbaked show that got cancelled after its '14-'15 debut season. It was a romantic comedy starring her, Ben Feldman (of Mad Men fame), that British lady from that one episode of Black Mirror, and one of the fall season's 1250 fat, bearded sidekicks. Sorry, that's a little unfair to Henry Zebrowski. It's not his fault he was written to be such an annoying loser, and to his credit, he's the sole fat, bearded sidekick that had an attractive charm to him. There were some other promising secondary characters, from the wry, sarcastic IT team to the selfish, uncaring boss of Andrew's company, but there just wasn't enough there to sustain the show. Unlike my beloved Trophy Wife, I'm not rending my clothes over this one not getting a second season. (Grade: B-)

#5: Trivia Crack: I've mentioned before that trivia apps can be pretty darned fun, so when the internet started exploding over a new one called Trivia Crack, I happily jumped on board. And speaking of bored... This is not a well-designed game. All the questions are user-submitted, so a lot of them are either laughably easy or ridiculously esoteric. It imposes time restrictions between turns and is lousy with intrusive ads starring Kate Upton's boobs. It was diverting enough for a couple of weeks, but after that, I lost interest quickly. It might just hold the record for the app that has spent the shortest amount of time on my phone. (Grade: C-)

Shorties #15

Now that the year is almost over, I'd better get to wedging in blurbs about the things I've just wrapped up, if only so they can be included in the State of the Art posts. And what's the quickest way to do that? Shorties!

#1: The Ides of March: In this 2011 film, Ryan Gosling plays a campaign manager for George Clooney, portraying a politician attempting to win the Democratic presidential nomination. All of his talking points are slick and broadly appealing to us bleeding heart liberals, but there are dirty little secrets bubbling beneath the surface. When Gosling discovers that winning and ideals cannot always go hand-in-hand, he has to make some pretty tough choices. It's a well-acted movie, but often trades in cliche. And on a personal note, I really detest it when movies or TV depict arguments about/decisions regarding abortion that don't have the guts to ever even mutter the word aloud. (Grade: B-)

#2: Mr. Mercedes: I was surprised that I was able to get my hands on Stephen King's new book from the library so quickly. This story concerns a retired detective who sets aside his suicidal tendencies in an effort to close a case where the perpetrator of a heinous hit-and-run mass murder got away. Perspectives shift between the hero and the villain so that we can see what both of them are up to. There are no supernatural baddies here; all the horrors stems from places that are distressingly human. It's a fairly mundane thriller, and weirdly, it's the first book in a trilogy about the protagonist, who isn't a very interesting character. It was a decent read that moved along at a good clip, though, and that's all I was expecting from it. (Grade: B)

#3: Side Effects: Stephen Soderbergh tends to make movies that I find fascinating, but sometimes it takes me a while to get around to seeing them. This 2013 movie is no exception, which worked out well, since I enjoyed it more on my couch than I think I would have in the theater. On the surface, it's a psychological thriller about a murder and just how culpable the perpetrator is, given that she's on an experimental course of anti-depressants. Did she mean to do it? Does she even remember it? Is it her psychiatrist's fault? Is she playing the system? It's a great premise, and the execution is pulled off meticulously. Even as the general story is unfolding, the movie also serves as a pretty sharp satire of Americans' over-reliance on pill popping to solve all their problems. The final act is a little too neat and tidy, given the mess that preceded it, but overall, it's a very well-done movie. (Grade: B+)

#4: Dragon Age: Inquisition: This game franchise has had a bumpy history. The first entry (Dragon Age: Origins) ranks as one of my favorite games of all time. The second (Dragon Age II) was the biggest disappointment of the year. Now that I'm several hours into this third entry, I can confidently say that Dragon Age is back, baby! My grade is based purely on gameplay, so I'm not docking any points for the bugs, of which there are too many. I'm not happy about the crashes and glitches, of course, but they're fixable. They're not intrinsic to the game. This game almost seems like a direct response to the complaints about Dragon Age II. Don't like the poorly-written companion scenes? Great, here are nine companions who all have much more intricate backstories, desires, wishes, and triggers. Tired of the same cave over and over and over again? Great, let's make the world breathtakingly gigantic, with each zone having its own citizens, atmosphere, and personality. This game is gorgeous, funny, romantic, sad, and above all else...fun. And I'm not even halfway done. (Grade: A)

#5: Book of Ages: The Life and Opinions of Jane Franklin: If you're not careful, writing about history can be too dry. I mean, check out one of the only two books that I couldn't even get through this year. Simple recitations of names and dates gets old (no pun intended). So I was pleased by Jill Lepore's 2013 book, even as it admitted to being about a woman whose only claim to fame was being Benjamin Franklin's kid sister. Jane Franklin wasn't an author (she could barely spell). She didn't advise her brother on matters of policy. She didn't, in fact, do much of anything except make soap and babies. But that's precisely what's so interesting about the book; plenty has been written about our forefathers, but not much about the lives of the people for whom those forefathers were crafting a new country. This book runs on the parallel tracks of a towering giant in American history and a simple housewife, who happened to adore each other. Lepore's source material is very thin, but she's able to build on it, creating a pretty lifelike portrait of a woman who remains mostly anonymous. (Grade: B)

Shorties #14

Fall is in the air! There are pumpkins to carve and seeds to roast. There is candy to buy for trick-or-treaters and then eat a week before Halloween and then replace. There are costume components to purchase. All of that takes money, so instead of heading out to the theater, I've been giving Netflix a good workout. And giving Netflix a good workout means...Shorties!

#1: Awake - Season 1: This 2012 show only lasted a single season, but after I heard it talked up, I thought it sounded like it was worth a binge watch. It revolves around a cop who gets into a car accident while driving around with his family. His reality then fractures in two: In one, his wife survives the accident, but his son dies. In the other, it's reversed. In both universes, he is sent to a shrink, both of whom assure him that THIS reality is the actual one, and the other is a dream world. They encourage him to process his feelings so that the "false" reality goes away, but he actively does the opposite. If there's a way he can remain with both of his loved ones, even if it's in a patchwork existence, he's going to do it. That is a fantastic premise, and the show was acted well (Jason Isaacs is the main character, and B.D. Wong and Cherry Jones as the two psychiatrists are also standouts). The differing color palettes between the two worlds helped distinguish plot threads without being excessively intrusive. All that was great, but the show was weighed down by some formulaic case-of-the-week storylines, and a blatantly unnecessary conspriacy theory surrounding the accident. In the final analysis, I'm glad I watched it, but I can also see why it got cancelled. (Grade: B-)

#2: Grand Piano: I'll never get tired of telling people this 2014 movie is Speed on a piano, and watching their reactions. Elijah Wood plays a concert pianist who choked during a previous performance, and is only now returning to the stage after many years. As he begins to play, he sees a note in his sheet music that if he misses a single note, he'll be killed by a sniper (John Cusack). This, as you can imagine, does not do wonders for his concentration. The best thing about this movie is that it knows exactly what it is, and isn't clouded by a heavy sense of self-seriousness. All that's asked of the audience is to kick back and enjoy the ride. It's a very slight movie; not much actually happens. But it's got a good sense of fun, and I'd definitely recommend that people watch it. (Grade: B+)

#3: Assault on Precinct 13: It's very important that I note that this is the original 1976 film, and not that unnecessary remake a few years back. This movie could have easily fallen into the Pop Culture Homework Project, but I feel like one assignment about the crime-ridden streets of the '70s is plenty. The movie establishes its stakes early, gunning down an adorable blonde girl with braids. You won't be too upset by her murder; the actress is on one of those abominable Real Housewives shows now. Her father tries to get revenge against the gang that killed his daughter, but is forced to run to a police station that is slated to close soon. There is just a skeleton crew left, and a couple of prisoners are dropped off for [blah blah plot reasons]. The gang, hot on the nearly-catatonic father's heels, lays siege to the station, and gun battles ensue. Minimal time is devoted to character development. This is simply a group of characters flung together and trying to survive the night. I kind of miss action movies like this that didn't do a lot of moralizing. It just throws us straight into the action. (Grade: B)

#4: Exam: That's two action-packed movies, so why not throw some character-based intellectual dramas into the mix? I watched this 2009 one based solely on an intriguing premise: A group of applicants, all desperate for a job, are put into a room with a slip of paper on their desks, and told that whoever answers the sole question best in the time limit will be given the position. They flip the papers over to find they're all blank. Psychological torture...go! Some applicants want to depend on their own skills to pull themselves through. Some want to cooperate. Some want to eliminate the competition. It's sort of a corporate version of The Hunger Games. The execution is a bit off, as the characters' actions are somewhat hackneyed and predictable. Still, it was a very interesting movie, and I'm always going to want to watch those, even if they're not quite able to capture lightning in a bottle. (Grade: B-)

#5: Populaire: Let's wrap up with this 2012 French romance, in which a stodgy boss hires a klutzy secretary, solely because she's a fast typist. He wants to vicariously grab some glory by entering her in speed-typing competitions, and from there, you can pretty much guess every story beat. She gets progressively better. She suffers a setback. They fall in love, but don't want to admit it. Then they admit it, but there's a misunderstanding that drives them apart. Then they get back together and triumph. So, it's Girls Just Want to Have Fun. But here's the thing: I fucking love Girls Just Want to Have Fun. No matter how well-worn this territory is, this movie is so charming that it's impossible not to like. It won't win any originality points, but it's a perfectly cute movie that is worth the watch. (Grade: B)

Shorties #13

It's time for an all-movie Shorties! Once in a while, I'll find myself with a couple of spare hours and knock something out of the Netflix queue, or I'll follow up on a recommendation, or I'll be hanging out with someone who's watching a movie, and I'm taken along on the ride. These little bits of cinematic detritus get collected as the side dishes of the entertainment world, but that's not to say they're unimportant. Several Shorties wind up being more enjoyable than the tentpole movies that get far more attention. Let's hit it!

#1: Penelope: This 2006 Christina Ricci film is the epitome of a Laundry Movie. It's a fairly generic morality tale about loving-the-person-within, in which the title character is cursed with a pig nose until she finds true love. Ricci and James McAvoy are a pleasant calm eye in the middle of an overacting storm. Everyone else, from Penelope's parents to the shallow suitors who don't fit the bill, are far too hammy. It was a perfectly fine way to spend a couple of hours, but certainly not something that I'd ever hasten to recommend to others (Grade: B-)

#2: The Last of Sheila: Some movies are entertaining because they're good, but some movies are entertaining because they're interesting. 1973's The Last of Sheila was talked up on a movie website I regularly read, and I thought to myself "Eh, what the hell? I like mysteries and puzzles." While it didn't sweep me up in cinematic grandeur, there's no denying that this was a pretty weird and wonderful experience. All of the characters have secrets simmering under the surface, and when an eccentric game-master brings them all to the surface, the game turns to murder. This taking place in the '70s means that the shameful secrets are treated with an oddly high or low level of reaction, but overall, it was really fun, and unlike other murder mystery movies, this one actually drops clues that observant viewers can pick up on. (Grade: B+)

#3: It's a Disaster: I have to dance around a fine line with disaster/apocalypse movies. I generally love their premises, but they can be too gory or too silly or too lots-of-things. A lot of self-winking end-of-the-world flicks came out a couple of years ago: I mostly enjoyed This is the End, ignored Rapture-Palooza, and have been trying to decide if I want to tackle Seeking a Friend for the End of the World or not. One of the ones that slipped through the cracks was the 2012 movie It's a Disaster - an omission I corrected one weekend I was studiously avoiding cleaning the apartment. Four couples meet for one of their usual Sunday brunches. One of the couples is brand new, and the woman (Julia Stiles) is introducing her new boyfriend (David Cross) to her friend group. It's a tense gathering of people who mostly don't like each other, and the situation is not improved when news that the city has been attacked with a biological weapon reaches them. Sealed into the house, their interpersonal problems intensify. I liked that the entire movie takes place within the confines of the house, and we never see what's actually going on out there. Being trapped with no real way of acquiring news would be one of the scariest parts of such a societal breakdown, and those fears definitely afflict the characters. But, woof, what a set of characters. There isn't really a single one to root for; it's an assemblage of unpleasant people who shouldn't be friends, and you kind of wish they'd shut up and just die already. This is one of those movies that has a terrific concept, but fell apart in the execution. (Grade: C)

#4: Urbanized: I get geeky about the weirdest topics, and one of them is an interest in urban design. What makes a city succeed or fail its citizens? How does something as simple as a bike path or a series of light bulbs enhance the lives of a city's denizens? How do you balance the endless and constantly shifting needs of a populace? The 2011 documentary Urbanized does an admirable job of exploring a lot of these questions. I've mentioned before that I really liked director Gary Hustwit's previous documentary, Helvetica. The follow-up, Objectified was also informative, if not as entertaining, but this third one easily springs back from that limitation. Interviews with architects, designers, politicians, and others provide multiple perspectives about the challenges of designing city services and attractions, from parks to public transportation to roadways. The movie doesn't pull punches when it comes to cities that do things wrong, either. The film goes along at kind of a slow pace, but the fascinating subject matter more than makes up for it. (Grade: B)

#5: The Big Wedding: This 2013 movie is not one I would have picked for myself, but was willing to give it a whirl when I was staying with some friends who wanted to watch it. Oof. This is one of those farce comedies, in which Robert De Niro and ex-wife Diane Keaton must pretend to still be married, in order to...impress their adopted son's biological mother at said son's wedding. This is obviously not happy news for De Niro's longtime girlfriend Susan Sarandon. Topher Grace and Katherine Heigl round out the cast as De Niro and Keaton's insufferable children. I'm using actor names instead of character names, because the characters are so two-dimensional as to be almost non-existent. No cliche is too hoary for this movie, from the sexy foreigner who exists only to titillate the virginal son to the whooooooooa-we're-falling-in-water bit of comedy that stopped being cute in 1982. I haven't even gotten to the part where Robin Williams is allowed to let loose with spastic insults as the wedding's priest. In case I haven't made it clear yet: I wasn't a fan of this one. (Grade: C-)

Shorties #12

It's the last week before the Oscars, so what better time to take care of some of the dribs and drabs of entertainment? A few of these had been on my radar for quite some time, while a couple essentially fell out of the sky. How did they stack up? Let's find out!

#1: Trollhunter: This is one of those fall-out-of-the-sky titles. I was hanging out with Kyle, looking for a suitable movie to pair with a booze-soaked evening. He suggested this 2010 Norwegian movie, which is styled as a found-footage documentary about some university students discovering, then assisting a grizzled man who hunts down trolls. Yeah, that's a perfect flick to take in when you're knocking back a bunch of cocktails. I'm not usually a big found-footage fan, but it worked well in this framework. The monsters are treated as realistically as possible; you could actually see events unfolding in just such a way if trolls were proven to exist. Lots of commentators compare this movie with The Blair Witch Project, but I had zero interest in that film, whereas this one was intriguing, probably because a wholly Non-American production helped sell it an an otherworldly, dark fairy tale. (Grade: B)

#2: A.C.O.D.: I'd been wanting to see this 2013 movie ever since I first heard about it. The cast has a ton of people I love, and as an A.C.O.D. myself, I was interested in the direction the story would take. Well, all that glitters... Given the talent of the people involved, this was fairly disappointing. Adam Scott does his best to hold together the plot with his usual bemused straight-man charm, but the characters around him are extremely underwritten. Everyone in this movie is pretty two-dimensional, and for a comedy, it didn't deliver a lot of laughs. It wasn't a bad movie, and there were a few wry smiles to be wrung out of it, but the kindest adjective I can apply to it is "mediocre". (Grade: C+)

#3: Kings of Pastry: This 2009 documentary was one I've had my eye on for a while. It follows a disparate group of French pastry chefs, all of whom are competing to attain the prestigious Meilleur Ouvrier de France award. It's a grueling, three-day test, and top prize is only given to the absolute masters of their craft. One of the most refreshing things about this competition is that it's not a zero-sum game; any amount of the chefs may be given the prize, from zero to all of them. That removes the need for puffery, ego, and acrimony. Everyone wants everyone else to do well, including the judges. They're as bummed as the contestants if something goes awry. And there is plenty to go awry, from melting chocolate to delicate sugar structures shattering. Watching the chefs try to move these sculptures from one room to another is more tense than any "CUT THE RED WIRE" scene I've ever seen. I wish the movie had dug a little deeper into the chefs' lives away from the contest, but as a whole, this was a very worthwhile watch. (Grade: B)

#4: Wanderlust: Wet Hot American Summer is one of my favorite movies. So I'm always curious to check out David Wain's other projects, even though none of them has ever even come close to clearing the bar that movie set. The 2012 movie Wanderlust can now join that list of mild disappointments. As with A.C.O.D., I really enjoy a lot of the cast (Joe Lo Truglio, Ken Marino, Paul Rudd, Michaela Watkins, Lauren Ambrose, etc.), and was more than willing to give the movie a shot, despite its lukewarm reception when it came out. Lukewarm is about right. Where Wet Hot American Summer skewers the '80s summer camp aesthetic, Wanderlust targets hippie communes. An uptight couple (Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston) stumbles across one, and learn valuable lessons about loosening up and obsession with material goods. Along the way are poop jokes, drug jokes, and sex jokes, all of which are fine if done cleverly. This movie is content to point at a guy's dick and call that a joke. It wasn't a bad movie by any stretch, but if you haven't seen it, you're not missing anything if you skip it. (Grade: C+)

#5: Ready, Okay!: Here's another example of a property pointing out a situation and calling it a day, rather than digging into it. In this case, though, it's the much more serious matter of school shootings. This 2000 novel by Adam Cadre starts off well, with all sorts of foreboding about the violence to come. The character work is terrific as well. The protagonist Allen is believable and relatable, and his peers, from friends to family to acquaintances to foes all come off as individual points-of-view, rather than melding together in one mass, as is sometimes a problem in sprawling casts. I could feel myself steeling, trying to brace for what I was sure to be an explosive third act. When it finally does come, though, it's treated with a shrug. And once the horror is over, no attempt is made to explain or even explore the situation. It may as well have been a local news segment. Though I have no complaints about the writing style, this book would have benefited from a deeper look into its characters' motivations. (Grade: B-)

Shorties #11

The end of the year approaches! Lists must be made! Culture must be consumed! Wrapping paper with gold sparkles that fall off and turn my dining room table into a glittering nightmare must never be purchased again! Since the holidays always do such an effective job of draining my bank account, let's dive into a Shorties made up entirely of whatever can be streamed, borrowed, or piggybacked.

#1: Toys in the Attic: See if you can follow me on this one. A strange little stop-motion animation film about toys coming to life when there are no humans around is released in 2009 in its native Czech Republic, gets attention at a lot of international festivals, and is then picked up in 2012 and dubbed into an English by an American woman best known for writing and starring in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 cheesefest, Soultaker. Got all that? The plot is a very spare rescue mission story, wherein the placid Princess Buttercup doll is kidnapped by the minions of a giant head. Her friends, including a teddy bear, an inventive mouse, and a wooden soldier band together to set her free. It wasn't terrific, but I like to broaden my movie spectrum when I can, and it's interesting to see what the current state of animation is in other countries. (Grade: C+)

#2: My Dog Skip: This isn't one I'd watch on my own, but was picked as a good movie-night option when I was visiting family. It followed what I'd call a pretty traditional animal-friend story arc. Lonely child. Bonds with animal. Child blossoms. Animal dies. Audience cries. This movie hit all of those notes, with Frankie Muniz as the adorable child who comes out of his shell with the help of an adorable dog. Other storylines are tossed in as well, from a shell-shocked hometown hero returning from war to evil moonshiners staking out a local territory as their turf. I'm happy it kept my nephew entertained for a couple of hours, but this kind of Hallmark Card entertainment isn't really up my alley. (Grade: C+)

#3: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: I'd heard this 2005 movie talked up in a lot of the corners of the internet, but it never seemed to make its way to the top of the to-watch list, until I found myself in the mood for a good potboiler one night. Like Brick, it's set in the present, but has a very noir-ish style. Robert Downey, Jr. plays a small-time thief who gets caught up in the dirty world of Hollywood secrets, along with his childhood crush, and a gay private investigator, played by Val Kilmer. I am emphatically not a fan of Kilmer's work in general, so imagine my surprise when he was not only acceptable in the role, but good. Really good! That alone was worth the viewing, and while it won't be joining my list of all-time favorites, this movie was a fun way to pass the evening. (Grade: B)

#4: Sound of Noise: As with Toys in the Attic, I wanted to watch this one to see what craziness the rest of the world is up to. OK, ready? It's a 2010 Swedish-French co-production, about a group of renegade drummers who illegally play on non-musical objects, like, oh say...a hospital patient they force into anesthesia. They're pursued across the city by a tone-deaf policeman who was born into a family of musical prodigies, and who can't stand the music that everyone else enjoys. Some Holy Motors-style magical realism creeps in when any object that the drummers have utilized in their city-wide symphony becomes utterly silent to him. It's a nifty little film. I don't know that I'd be able to recommend it to general audiences, but for those of us who like some quirk once in a while, it's pretty damned cool. (Grade: B)

#5: House of Leaves: I didn't realize until I started writing this entry how odd a lot of the Shorties are this time around. I just mentioned a movie about drummers staging a fake bank robbery so they can get a distended bass sound out of shredding money, and now we move on to a book about a manuscript about another manuscript about a documentary about a supernatural house that may never have existed in the first place. House of Leaves (published in 2000 by Mark Z. Danielewski) is the densest book I've ever read. I don't mean that as a criticism, necessarily; it's dense on purpose. The notion of a house that is bigger on the inside than on the inside is academically examined from every angle, which leads to explanations that beget footnotes that beget analytical footnotes about the footnotes. I can't imagine how long it took to write this thing. If you are reading this as a thriller, you'll be sorely disappointed, as anything haunting or scary is completely defanged by walls of text. But if you're reading this as an exploration of psychology, it's pretty fascinating. The manuscript's author may be steadily going mad, and his disorientation and confusion definitely shines through. I'm generally more a fan of traditional plotting, but need to shake myself up once in a while, and this was a good way to do it. (Grade: B-)

Shorties #10

I wish my bursts of productivity were in more practical realms than entertainment. Getting through a big to-do list would hopefully entail getting my household and finances in order, but instead, it involved knocking things off lists of pop culture to consume. I don't imagine I'll be getting a merit badge for that. But hell, I'll take my triumphs where I can. Let's dispense with some Shorties!

#1: This is How You Lose Her: I don't get a lot of book recommendations from my coworkers, but one woman really sold me on this 2012 collection of short stories by Junot Díaz. I'll never truly be able to walk a mile in the shoes of someone from a different ethnicity, but immersing myself in books by and about them (like Silver Sparrow) gets me as close as I can ever be to their perspectives. This is How You Lose Her features male Latino protagonists, and the stories mostly focus on their infidelities or struggles of identity. Some of the stories were a rough read, not because they were poorly-written, but because they seem to really burrow into the minds of guys who cannot build lasting relationships. (Grade: B+)

#2: Captain America: The First Avenger: Aside from the X-Men franchise, I can feel myself getting more and more bored with the superhero genre. I really enjoyed The Avengers, though, and thought I would make an effort to go back and catch up on some of the lead-up movies. The less said about Thor, the better, and I didn't bother with either of the Iron Man sequels. So I went into Captain America (2011) with a certain amount of trepidation. It turned out to actually be one of the better entries of the franchise. Sure, there are plenty of well-worn superhero tropes to be had, but the story flowed well, there weren't massive plotholes, and the character motivations all made sense. As usual, Chris Evans is game for whatever role he's in, and Hugo Weaving is always dependable as a villain. I didn't do cartwheels after the movie was over, but in an increasingly stale genre, it was a breath of fresh air. (Grade: B)

#3: The Impostors: Ready to hear the cast list? Oliver Platt. Stanley Tucci. Alfred Molina. Lili Taylor. Tony Shalhoub. Steve Buscemi. Allison Janney. Richard Jenkins. Isabella Rossellini. Campbell Scott. Billy Connolly. Dana Ivey. Hope Davis. Seriously! This 1998 farce is about two friends (Platt and Tucci) who spend all their time trying to hone the craft of acting, intentionally causing melodramatic scenes in public to test themselves. They insult the hammy performance of a drunken, albeit famous Shakespearean actor, and stowaway on a cruise ship to escape his wrath. All sorts of wacky, madcap schemes are taking place on board, from bomb threats to suicidal lounge singers to exiled royalty, and our protagonists get embroiled in all of them. It wasn't as good a movie as I was hoping, given the stellar cast (nailing the tone of a farce can be incredibly difficult), but it wasn't half-bad, either. (Grade: C+)

#4: Assassin's Creed 3: I just realized that I brought up how excited I was to play this game, and alluded to the fact when I was in the middle of it, but never said anything about it once I finally finished it. In a word - underwhelming. Like I just said, I'm a completionist, and thus a fan of video game busywork, but this game tested even my limits. Take out a guard with a smoke bomb? An announcement pops up that you need to do it nine more times. Hunt a deer? Do it twenty more times, with various types of traps and weapons. Find a treasure chest? Go find the other forty. Discover a tunnel? Go explore the other nineteen. The game's main story is almost lost in the shuffle, and though it wasn't a terrible game (I'm not sorry I bought it or anything), it certainly doesn't compare to Assassin's Creed 2 or Brotherhood. (Grade: C+)

#5: American Harmony: Every time I go over to my dad's house, he tries to entice me into watching a movie he's got on the DVR or that is in his Netflix queue. Sometimes, he's successful, and I get sucked into a movie I would never seek out on my own. This 2009 documentary is a perfect example. Competitive barbershop quartet performances are not something I'm at all interested in, but after watching twenty minutes or so, I was invested enough to have to stay and see who wins. As a movie, it's laughably goofy - it's everything A Mighty Wind was written to satirize. But for fans of the subject matter (like my dad), you could do a whole lot worse. (Grade: C)

Shorties #9

When it comes to entertainment consumption, I like to leap from topic to topic and genre to genre. Variety being the spice of life and all, I like to follow up a heavy drama with a fizzy comedy, or to tackle something new and exciting after settling in with a familiar favorite. This prevents me from getting bored, but carries an inherent risk of sinking time into a property that winds up being disappointing. So, with apologies for any whiplash you get from this next batch of wildly different types of entertainment (and grades), it's time to dive into some more Shorties.

#1: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Despite my geek leanings, I've never read the book. In fact, the only exposure I've had to Hitchhiker was playing the text-based computer game in the '80s. That game was ridiculously difficult, by the way. As soon as we got Internet access in the household, I instantly cheated my way through it. Anyhow, it gave me a good grounding of the plot, but watching this 2005 movie is the only other time I've interacted with this universe. I'm told that hardcore fans of the book hated the movie, but I liked it just fine. Martin Freeman always plays the bewildered-straight-man to the hilt, and Alan Rickman was great as depressed robot Marvin. This seems like a property people are pretty testy about when it's toyed with, so I'll just say I enjoyed it personally, and leave it at that. (Grade: B)

#2: Mirror Mirror: I'm not sure what I should have expected from a PG-rated movie produced by Brett Ratner, but boy, was this a slog. A retelling of the Snow White story with Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen, there were two good things about this movie: The costuming is gorgeous. And Armie Hammer is cute. The rest is pretty dire. With uninspired writing, stiff acting, and a distinct whiff of focus group/studio interference, I can't recommend this to anyone but those studying fashion design. (Grade: C-)

#3: White Collar: I generally give a television show five episodes before I decide if I'm going to keep up with it or not. Shows that hook or repel me right off the bat are exempt from this rule, of course, but if a show is middling, but shows promise, Episode 5 is when my judgement is rendered. White Collar didn't pass the test. Some personality-driven case-of-the-week shows do wind up appealing to me, like Psych or Rosemary & Thyme. And despite the fact that Matt Bomer is charming and dreamy, I just didn't find the stories on White Collar interesting enough to want to watch more. (Grade: C)

#4: Jurassic Park 3D: When Kyle and I arranged to go see this in IMAX with some of his friends, I predicted it would be sold out. "We're seeing a 9:00 showing of a movie that came out in 1993," he said. "We'll be fine." Every seat in the house was taken. Not only could we not sit together, but one of our groups had to sit in the very front, and the other in the very back. There's good reason for that. Jurassic Park is pretty much flawless. Thank goodness this movie was made before CGI became much of a thing, because the practical effects are still beautiful today. The entire audience was rapt and silent from beginning to end. That never happens at a sold-out show, and certainly not at a movie that everyone there has probably seen before. At one point, I decided that I would run to the restroom as soon as an inessential, filler scene came on. That never happened, because there are none. My bladder may have suffered, but my brain was delighted. (Grade: A+)

#5: Idiocracy: I was content to let this 2006 movie pass me by when it came out, but every time I see it mentioned online, people start gushing about how good it is. Once word-of-mouth builds up like that, I get curious, and this one eventually wended its way to the top of my Netflix queue. I'm not the biggest Luke Wilson fan in the world, but he does a fine job as an average schmo who gets cryogenically frozen and awakens far in the future to find he is, by far, the smartest person on the planet. This is a comedy, but it does have a subversive point about how many babies stupid people have. Anyhow, it's a pretty amusing movie, and Maya Rudolph always livens up everything she's in. Justin Long also has a welcome cameo as a doctor, and my only really big problem with this movie is his seriously-delivered diagnosis: "You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded." Not because I'm offended. No, it's because it's taken root in my head, and now I'm afraid I'm going to be quoting that in all sorts of inappropriate situations. (Grade: B-)

Shorties #8

Here it is April already, and if the entertainment world put out quarterly reports, the stockholders would be running for the hills right now. Movies, books, games... All of them have been disappointing so far this year. My next several posts will be about television, which has been a nice exception to the drudgery, but you'll note that all of the praise I'm about to heap only applies to shows that came out no more recently than last year. There are some promising things on the horizon, but since most of this year's entertainment could be summed up with a shrug so far, I've had plenty of time to go back and grab some of the movies in recent years that I missed when they first came out. Come on, 2013. Get it together.

#1: Ruby Sparks: When this movie made the rounds last year, the reviews didn't fill me with hope. But the premise of a lonely, frustrated author who starts writing about his ideal woman, then discovers said woman in his kitchen, really appealed to me. Paul Dano is a really intriguing actor who unfortunately doesn't get a lot of attention, and his performance here makes the protagonist pretty relatable, even if he sometimes falls into the trap of being the most literal kind of controlling boyfriend. Some of the plotlines are a bit rote - people who see a lot of movies are already intimately familiar with the trying-to-convince-others-of-extraordinary-circumstances schtick - but overall, it was a pretty cute movie. (Grade: B-)

#2: The Perks of Being a Wallflower: Another 2012 movie, but unlike Ruby Sparks, this one was always on my to-watch radar. The author of the novel it's based on got to direct the film, which is about a shy, insular high school freshman (Charlie) with some mental illness that his family is forever tiptoeing around. He befriends two seniors (Patrick, who is not-so-secretly gay, and Patrick's step-sister Sam), and with their support, slowly begins to come out of his shell. He falls in love with Sam, and his problems come roaring back when Patrick is harassed at school and Sam goes out with guys who treat her like dirt. It's a film that hits close to home for anyone who was wedged firmly in an offshoot clique, neither lonely nor popular. The basis of Charlie's mental problems is revealed at the end, and while I won't spoil it, I will say that it felt wedged in unnecessarily. This may be the case for the book as well, but at least as far as the movie goes, there are plenty of people like Charlie who don't need traumatic past events to enter high school as a shrinking violet. (Grade: B)

#3: Election: I probably haven't seen this movie since it was released in 1999, so I got a welcome reminder of how good it is. I generally enjoy Alexander Payne movies, but didn't realize that Election was based on a Tom Perrotta novel, so there's some nice redemption. And though Pleasantville was a terrific movie, and there were lots of excited whispers about Cruel Intentions, this is the movie that really established Reese Witherspoon as a movie star, and for good reason. She nailed the role of Tracy Flick, an over-ambitious high school senior willing to step on anyone to achieve her goals, even if the goal is a mostly-symbolic student presidency. Matthew Broderick plays the civics teacher who feels she desperately needs to be taken down a peg, and begins to scheme against her. As with many Payne movies, the story is more interesting because there are no purely evil characters, nor purely good characters (possibly excepting Chris Klein as Tracy's opponent, who is too naive to be devious). You truly can root for and against everyone. (Grade: B+)

#4: Film Critic: One of the recent episodes of the /Film podcast was ostensibly supposed to be a review of Oz the Great and Powerful, but turned into a much more interesting discussion of the monetization of podcasts in general, and if/when/how an audience should support shows they find entertaining. The guest was film critic Laremy Legel, whose opinion I'm always interested in. After hearing his views on the need to toss a few bucks to the niche entertainment outlets I want to see continue, I was energized to jump on Amazon and buy a copy of his book. I'm always curious to get a peek behind the curtain of film criticism. Hmm. You know those silent film stars that couldn't make the transition to talkies? Or a musician that's amazing in the studio, but can't put on a decent live show? I'm afraid Legel is one of those people who comes off better when they stay in their niche. On podcasts, he's compelling, amusing, and persuasive. His writing, however, is scattershot and a little dull. I like all the topics he gets to, but he doesn't stay on any of them long enough to do anything but scratch the surface. One thing he does go into depth about is his peeve over movies that don't feel the need to aspire to quality because they're for kids or dumb summer blockbusters. We don't excuse people who make bad cars or bad sandwiches, he argues. Only filmmakers seem to be able to get away with saying something like "It's a G.I. Joe movie! Of course it's crappy!" I wholeheartedly agree with that stance... Which is why it's so unfortunate that his book is riddled with typos and syntax errors. If a movie-maker should be held accountable for not giving any thought to plot or character development, then it's also time to put the smack down on books that didn't get proofread. (Grade: C+)

#5: Young Adult: I was bummed that this movie passed me by in 2011, since I enjoyed the Jason Reitman/Diablo Cody collaboration that resulted in Juno. I sometimes have issues with "cringe" movies; the awkward social situations cause me to get more and more progressively embarrassed for the characters. I stuck it out for this one, in which Mavis (Charlize Theron) is a ghost-writer for a soon-to-be-canceled young adult series (think along the lines of Sweet Valley High). When she gets an email blast from an old boyfriend about his newborn baby, she resolves to go back to the hometown where she was once queen bee and steal him back, if for no other reason than validation. When she gets back, she runs into Matt (Patton Oswalt), the prototypical nerd, who is partially disabled from the beating he got back in high school for being perceived as gay. The two strike up an unlikely friendship, and Matt tries to be the voice of reason to dissuade Mavis from attempting to homewreck her old flame's happy life. This being a pretty dark comedy, it goes about as well as you'd expect. Despite having to fight the urge to watch a lot of scenes through my fingers, this was a very good movie, and I can easily see why it ended up on so many people's best-of-the-year lists. (Grade: B)

Shorties #7

Normally, I try to mix a bunch of entertainment types into these entries, but I've been blowing through a ton of films lately, so are you ready for an all-movies Shorties? Let's hope so!

#1: Kinky Boots: This 2005 movie was recommended to me, so I tossed it on the Netflix queue. It's about a British man who inherits a failing shoe factory from his father, and in a desperate effort to save it, decides that production will shift to comfortable boot-wear for drag queens. It wasn't bad, but it's very much a product of its time, hitting all the rote paint-by-number plot devices a lot of movies with gay characters over-rely on. (Grade: B-)

#2: Paranorman: 2012 was a very strong year for animation, and this funny little monster movie is yet another score in the "win" column. Norman is a lonely little boy who can communicate with the dead, and must save his skeptical town from a witch's attack. His goofy and pudgy new friend, the best friend's dim-witted jock brother, and Norman's shallow sister are his only allies, and the movie deftly manages to combine kid-friendly fun with a decently macabre story, funny asides, and even a little sly social commentary. (Grade: B+)

#3: 21 Jump Street: I had initially decided to skip this, but after it got all kinds of generous reviews and decent word-of-mouth, I thought I'd give it a whirl. Hey, remember the other comedy I was going to skip, but then relented due to generous reviews and decent word-of-mouth? Yeah, same deal. This action/comedy deals in a lot of stupid jokes, but thinks that by calling out its own idiocy, it can be forgiven for it. It wasn't so bad that I wanted to kick the screen in when it was over, but for everything that worked, something else came along to cancel it out. It's possibly the most inessential thing I've seen so far this year. (Grade: C)

#4: Princess Mononoke: I've seen this one once before, but had forgotten a bunch of the details. After seeing The Secret World of Arietty, I wanted to refresh myself on another Miyazaki film I think of fondly. It's a lot darker than I remember. Some of Miyazaki's films, like Howl's Moving Castle and Spirited Away, are a lot more fantastical than human stories like Arietty and Mononoke. This one involves the very grim, ongoing battle between man and nature, and neither side gets away clean. That's not to say it's bad; it's just as fascinating this second time around. (Grade: B)

#5: Hannah and Her Sisters: Another one I saw long ago and have mostly forgotten. This is Woody Allen at his Woody Allenest - smack in the middle of his neurotic relationship drama period. For a movie where the stakes are comparatively low, it's pretty engaging. I can see why it won three Oscars (Dianne Wiest and Michael Caine for acting, Woody Allen for writing). I also enjoyed all the blink-and-you'll-miss-them cameos from people that are well-established now, like Sam Waterston and John Turturro. (Grade: B)

Shorties #6

I was concerned that the holiday season would be a cultural dead zone, but things are piling up faster than I can write about them! Aaaaaaah!

#1: Koyaanisqatsi: I'm surprised that I hadn't heard of this 1982 movie before it was sprung on me by a date. Francis Ford Coppola helped produce it, Philip Glass wrote the score, and it was enough of a cult film to warrant being the first of a trilogy. Translated from Hopi as "Life Out of Balance", it has no dialogue, but is merely a series of clips progressing from the beauty and stillness of nature through hectic scenes of urban life. Frankly, it was too much of "Nature Good! People Bad!" kind of message for me, but even if the tone didn't strike the right artistic balance, the music and editing were remarkable. (Grade: C+)

#2: "Serenity": Not the Serenity that I've already mentioned. This one was the pilot episode(s) of Firefly. Back then, I wondered if I didn't like the movie because I needed to be more familiar with the source material, or if I just didn't like it. Looks like we've got an answer now, because the TV show was no better. An antihero here and there is fine, but there are simply too many unlikeable characters in this franchise. I doubt I'll pursue this show any further. (Grade: C)

#3: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day: This 2008 film is pretty much a fluffy little nothing, and I mean that as a compliment. Frances McDormand is terrific in everything, and this is no exception. She plays a poverty-stricken governess, who through a quirk of fate, finds herself attempting to rescue a ditzy aspiring actress (Amy Adams) from various romantic entanglements. It's a charming movie that's best enjoyed some snowy night in front of the fire with a mug of hot chocolate. (Grade: B)

#4: United State of Pop - "Shine Brighter": I always enjoy DJ Earworm's yearly mashup of the top 25 pop songs of the year. Nothing has beaten out 2010 as my favorite one, but 2012's compilation comes pretty close. (Grade: B+)

#5: How I Met Your Mother - Season 7: Granted, I wasn't in the best headspace as I watched this season, but I'm pretty sure that has little to do with my opinion that it's the weakest of the bunch. There were some bright spots here and there, but for the most part, the MacLaren's gang may have put their best days behind them. (Grade: C)

Shorties #5

So much culture to consume! Let's plow through!

#1: Red Dead Redemption: I bought a used copy of this game off a coworker a while ago, but got frustrated with it, and set it aside. It's essentially Grand Theft Auto, except set in the Old West, and with the option to be honorable or dishonorable - no need to be a crook. Once I was finished with Mass Effect 3 (see below), I had some game time to kill before Assassin's Creed III arrived (no pun intended), and picked it back up. I liked it better this time around, but issues still abound. It's fine to play if there's nothing else going on. (Grade: C+)

#2: The Station Agent: As with Michael Clayton, I've seen this movie before, but didn't remember much about it, other than I had enjoyed it. I rewatched it, and easily understood why: The actors (Bobby Cannavale, Peter Dinklage, and Patricia Clarkson) are some of my favorites, and are completely charming, but there isn't much to the story. It's just a simple relationship drama. (Grade: B+)

#3: Mass Effect 3: Back when I first mentioned this game, I had heard some blowback about its ending, and now that I've reached said ending, I can understand what the furor was about, though I wasn't as whipped up about it. It was definitely a disappointing conclusion, but it didn't sour me on the entire game, which I still enjoyed. (Grade: B-)

#4: Born Yesterday: In order to write an entry for an upcoming Award Repo, I had to do my research, which involved watching this 1950 film about the kept girlfriend of a crooked business man. Judy Holliday plays Billie as a self-involved bimbo, who becomes more confident and interested in civics when led around D.C. by reporter William Holden, who easily falls for her charms. This movie was nominated for Best Picture, but hasn't aged particularly well. I adore movies of this era, but this one is too heavy-handed and plodding. (Grade: C)

#5: 2012 Election Night Coverage: I hosted a small party on election night, and though CNN was the default channel setting, we also wanted to see what was going on with Fox News and a local channel. Aside from the complete non-surprise of Wolf Blitzer being insufferable, it was handled pretty well. CNN delved into some interesting county-level statistics. The slack-jawed disbelief on the Fox anchors' faces was endlessly entertaining. NBC's electoral ice rink was silly, but pretty nifty. And the local channel actually pulled through for once, and kept us up-to-date on how our state-level decisions were faring. Perhaps the copious amounts of alcohol made me more forgiving of news coverage than I usually am. Or perhaps, 2012 is the year the networks finally got their shit together. (Grade: B+)

Shorties #4

Who's got time for long-winded treatises on pop culture today? Not I!

#1: Portlandia - Season 1: A friend showed me a couple of funny skits from this show, so I decided to watch the half dozen episodes available on Netflix Instant. It almost immediately became a fairly good Laundry Show - entertaining enough to have on, but ignorable enough so that I can pay half attention to it while I fill out a tax form or wrap a birthday present or whatever. As a tangential note, I enjoy the theme song to the point that I bought it on iTunes. (Grade: B-)

#2: Partners: It wasn't long ago that I mentioned how intrigued I was by this show, and though my predictions or premonitions about a show are often wildly off-base, I certainly called it on two aspects of this one. It's painfully obnoxious, and it isn't anywhere near as awful as The New Normal. After two laugh-free episodes, it earns the distinction of being the first show of the new season that I drop like a hot potato. (Grade: C-)

#3: How to Train Your Dragon: Despite the fact that I'm a childless, adult male, I enjoy well-made children's movies. This one didn't seem like anything special until I heard some reviewers rave about how good it is. I figured that was worth a rental, and I'm glad I did. This is a charming movie, and has a neat little hook about not just accepting as gospel other people's notions about who the bad guys are. (Grade: B+)

#4: Serenity: I've been diving into more Joss Whedon territory lately, and while I've never seen a single episode of Firefly, I thought it'd be fun to go to a midnight showing of this movie with a friend. While I did enjoy the evening, the movie itself was a letdown. It had an off-putting moral message (the antihero protagonist was more anti than hero, and the characters most in need of help were the least likely to receive it). The inclusion of 1850's-grizzled-prospector speech tics didn't help. Perhaps this particular franchise just isn't up my alley, or perhaps I would have liked it more if I were familiar with the TV show. Either way, it's unlikely I'll ever have the inclination to watch any more of this, so it may just have to sit at the bottom of the Whedon heap in my estimation. (Grade: C)

#5: V For Vendetta: I've seen this movie before, but there was no way I was going to turn down a friend's invitation to watch it again while kicking back with wings and beer. Hugo Weaving and Natalie Portman both do an excellent job, and naturally, John Hurt is great in everything. As a corrupt high-chancellor in a terror-soaked Britain, he intimidates the hell out of me in this. The movie raises all sorts of interesting questions about acceptable levels of governmental intrusion, and the resulting violent push-back from a repressed citizenry. It can be difficult to discuss "acceptable terrorism" while sucking hot sauce off one's fingers, but we pulled it off. (Grade: B+)

Shorties #3

It's time to tear through some more shorties! Vroom!

#1: Why We Broke Up: I read this between Taft 2012 and the John Connelly books, but it somehow fell through the cracks. I don't know why, as I generally love Daniel Handler books. Though not my favorite of his, this one is certainly in the top three. It's a series of notes from a teenage girl to her ex-boyfriend, ruminating over the dissolution of their relationship as she returns all the items that remind her of them as a couple. Each item is also given an illustration, and the total package really encapsulates the diary-like remembrances of an adolescent protagonist, sure that the world is ending because her high school relationship fell apart. (Grade: B+)

#2: Stephen Fry in America: I love Stephen Fry, and I love programs that explore these United States of ours, so what's not to love about combining the two? Unfortunately, there's plenty. While there are glimmers of both the character of our country and the sparkling wit of Mr. Jeeves, they were too few and far between in this program.

The biggest problem was the pacing. With fifty states to get through, Fry often drops by a state, makes a couple of observations (often about the most obvious characteristic of that state - Maine is a short conversation with lobster fishermen, while Vermont is reduced to a Ben & Jerry's tasting) and leaves. If more time was given to a wry humorist's reactions to our often-crazy land, this would have been a gem. As it is, it felt forced and rushed. (Grade: B-)

#3: The Wire - Season 2: When I first dove into The Wire for the Pop Culture Homework Project, I was relieved to find that it more than lived up to its hype. It was a riveting dramatization of the intricacies of an inner city drug culture, and the ways society is ill-equipped to handle it. I had heard that each season tackles a different aspect of this doomed society, which intrigued me all over again. Season 2 was a much slower burn than Season 1. I mean that as a compliment sometimes, but it didn't quite work here. Season 2 focused on the dying port industry, corrupt unions, and organized crime, while still tying in the storylines of the drug kingpins from Season 1, and yet with all of these topics to explore, it somehow dragged a bit. It was still eminently watchable, and superbly acted, with one exception. James Ransone (Ziggy) sticks out as the sorest thumb ever bashed with a hammer. I'll definitely continue watching The Wire, but I'm hoping Season 3 amps this series up a bit. (Grade: B-)

#4: Big Babies: My sister has an extensive library, so when I visit, I sometimes like to select a book almost at random, and if it looks the least bit interesting, I'll borrow it for a while. Last time, I took home two of Sherwood Kiraly's books, and read this one first. It was so boring that I almost just skipped writing about it, because there's so little to say. The plot involves two brothers, each losers in their own way, trying to improve their lives in whatever small way they can, but attempting to expand on that has a soporific effect on me that I have no interest in shaking. After I finished this book off, I didn't even bother to crack the other one. (Grade: C)

#5: Michael Clayton: I was at a friend's house the other evening to watch a movie, and he rattled off a list of titles for me to choose from. I had seen all of the offerings previously, but of all of them, Michael Clayton was the one I remembered the least about. I knew I had liked it, and I knew that Tilda Swinton is awesome, and totally deserved the Oscar she won for it, but a lot of the film's details had faded. I'm glad I watched it again, because it reminded me of what a tightly-scripted thriller it is. George Clooney deftly straddles the line as a character who is equally admired and unappreciated. Tilda Swinton is perfect as a woman who can calmly handle the savagery of business, but becomes increasingly frantic at the thought of losing a modicum of respect or control. The conspiracy aspect of the plot never spirals out of control, and is chillingly realistic - particularly a clinical assassination that is nearly silent and swiftly carried out. It's a great movie, and will definitely stick in my brain this time around. (Grade: A-)