Fuck, Marry, Kill

No, you haven't stumbled onto that game where you decide which celebrities you can't stand and which ones you'd like to bone! This time, Fuck/Marry/Kill is the status of four television shows that recently wrapped up their seasons (and in one case, their series). We'll soon be entering the Summer TV Dead Zone (also known as let's-catch-up-with-things-on-Netflix), but before we move on, let's spare a word for the recently-departed:


"Fuck" can mean a lot of things. In the case of this latest season of RuPaul's Drag Race it stands for "Fuck, yeah!" The best reality show on television continued its streak with a pretty compelling season, capped off with a much-deserved win. (Spoilers ahead!) Too often, the prize goes to a fishy queen who looks pretty but lacks much of a personality (that would be Tyra Sanchez' ears ringing right about now). So while I was sad that BenDelaCreme couldn't go further in the competition, I was overjoyed to watch Bianca Del Rio, a whip-smart, experienced queen snag the title. Condragulations, girl. And condragulations to RuPaul, whose show is clearly in the midst of a Golden Age.

"Fuck" can also mean "Fuck off," which is unfortunately the point I'm at with Once Upon a Time. I was never under any illusion that it was a terrific show. Even when I started getting sucked in, I could tell it was a Guilty Pleasure. Though the effects were often laughable, and the acting hammier than a pork festival, there was genuine pleasure to be found in the melodrama of the fairy tale twists they kept throwing at the audience. Then came Season 3, which was so...goddamn...boring. All of the problems I willingly overlooked when the show was entertaining got amplified a thousand times when there was nothing else the show could offer. The show is now teasing that Elsa from Frozen will be appearing next season, but it's too late. As far as I go, it's time for this story to say "The End".


As I mentioned in my Best of 2013 post, there was no way I was going to stop loving Season 4 of Bob's Burgers, and I was right. It started out on a weak episode, but quickly righted itself to easily become the best show of the season. The characterizations are note-perfect, the side characters are amazing, the plots are zany, but grounded, and the jokes are hilarious. News that they'll be releasing an album of the incredible music this show puts out week after week was simply the icing on what has become the tastiest cake I've had in a long time.


I hate you all. I'm sorry, that was rash. I just mean I'm bummed that more people didn't watch Trophy Wife, which was a marvelous little show. That means its inaugural season is also its last. I'll grant you that it has an awful title, and the marketing material didn't explain the premise well (young woman marries older man and deals with his two ex-wives and three kids and it's waaaaaaaacky!!!!!), but once I sat down to give it chance, I started to realize that it was actually kind of genius.

The balance of quirk on this show was perfect. As the titular (hee) wife, Malin Akerman was perfectly good, but it was the other women who really shined. Marcia Gay Harden nailed her role as an icy perfectionist, while Michaela Watkins' lazy earth-mother was responsible for most of the belly laughs I found bursting out of me every week. Even the kids, usually the weakest part of any sitcom for me, stepped up to the plate. If you have Hulu Plus, I'd encourage you to go watch the season. If only to join me in drowning our sorrows over the fact that such a funny, warm show got axed.

RuPaul's Drag Race - Season 6: A-
Once Upon a Time - Season 1: B
Once Upon a Time - Season 2: B-
Once Upon a Time - Season 3: C-
Bob's Burgers - Season 4: A+
Trophy Wife - Season 1: A-


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