Mini Movie Review: Magic Mike

-1:35 PM
It's been a rough weekend so far. What better way to give it a positive jolt than by seeing the male stripper movie?

-1:38 PM
Esquire theater. Check. Soda purchased? Check. Room left at the top of the cup for the addition of another liquid? Check.

-1:40 PM
There aren't many people in the theater other than me, the five female friends who are beside me, and a few other ladies. I am the only male present.

-1:42 PM
Previews. There are approximately seventeen of them. At least some of these movies look better than the previews we saw before Joyful Noise.

-2:00 PM
Five seconds into the movie, and we've got topless Olivia Munn and Channing Tatum's ass. Just in case you were unsure of what kind of movie this is going to be.

-2:17 PM
It's nice that Cody Horn has finally been discovered, because if someone's going to play Alex Pettyfer's sibling, they really need to rise to his level of being completely wooden and bland.

-2:25 PM
Joe Manganiello sits at a sewing machine in a bandana and chunky glasses, stitching up a thong. It's completely charming.

-2:31 PM
Blurry, corner-view cock shot. Alex Pettyfer's one shining moment in the movie comes as he tries his damndest not to look, but can't resist giving it the side-eye anyway.

-2:37 PM
Matthew McConaughey says "All right, all right, all right..." several times, because this movie has the good grace to have a sense of humor about itself.

-2:45 PM
Holy shit, they have him play the bongos, too!

-2:55 PM
One of the minor characters carries a pig around with her. Ooh, come here, cute piggy! I want a pig!

-3:02 PM
I could have done without the "Haha! Check out this fat chick!" joke.

-3:12 PM
There's not enough Matthew Bomer in this movie! In fact, why not just cut Cody Horn out completely and make it entirely about the guys who work at the club? And I say this not just as a fan of hot dudes, but as a fan of good acting.

-3:33 PM
You can tell this is a fictional movie because all of the male strippers and the customers they perform for are straight.

-4:00 PM
Channing Tatum rides off into the sunset with Blandy McWhiteBread. Hooray!

-4:12 PM
Still buzzing on the Captain Morgan in my soda, we excitedly dissect the movie in the lobby.

Limecrete: "Someone needs to get an Oscar for creating a movie in which Matthew McConaughey is actually good!"
Tiffany: "Truly, this is his Gandhi."

I liked this movie, as I tend to like most Steven Soderbergh movies. Any film about strippers runs the risk of either being exploitative to the detriment of the plot, or a trite rehash of the age-old saw about strippers beings the castoffs of society. This movie did neither. It portrayed male stripping as it mostly is; a legitimately viable business for those who treat it as a job, and a potential landmine for those who have no self-control.

Not everything worked. I don't know who decided that Alex Pettyfer is a person that needs to be continually cast as a lead actor in a bunch of movies, but they need to stop. Soderbergh seems to have a soft spot for vacant, bored-looking actresses, and Cody Horn is the newest one to join the club. Still, I enjoyed Channing Tatum far more than I thought I was going to, and getting me to like Matthew McConaughey is no small feat. Gyrating beefcake is always fun, but hey, it turns out that the movie beneath it is pretty great, too.

Magic Mike: B


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