Elementary - Season 1 (CBS - 9-10PM - premieres September 27):
Countless versions of the Sherlock Holmes stories have been presented over the years, but this most recent adaptation has been getting the side-eye for trying to steal the thunder from the come-on-let's-face-it-probably-superior Sherlock. The timing certainly is suspicious. The American show is also a modern take on the character, but is trying to differentiate itself by casting Lucy Liu as Doctor Watson, and while I have no problem with her, I can catch the scent of unmistakable desperation around this show. "Ooh, check it out! A woman!" If this show existed in a Sherlock vacuum, I could see myself wanting to watch, but since the BBC version exists, watching this show seems like reaching for a Hydrox when there's a stack of Oreos nearby.
30 Rock - Season 7 (NBC - 7-7:30PM - premieres October 4):
This show has been responsible for some of the biggest laughs a sitcom has ever given me, but exhibited some really distressing jump-the-shark moments last season. Since this is the final season, I'm sure they'll go all out, and I'm sure there will be worthy moments, but I'm not going to make an effort to catch them as they air. I'll just shotgun this season once it's over.
The Vampire Diaries - Season 4 (CW - 7-8PM - premieres October 11):
I've heard through the grapevine that this show isn't half as silly as I pictured. I still don't watch it, though.
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 (CBS - 7:30-8PM - premieres September 27):
Um, no.
Up All Night - Season 2 (NBC - 7:30-8PM - premieres September 20):
I never saw the first season. Apparently, this show isn't half-bad, but like Happy Endings, it's a show that's probably better experienced by watching a bunch of episodes in a row once they're available on DVD, rather than attempting to catch it every week.
Beauty and the Beast - Season 1 (CW - 8-9PM - premieres October 11):
A typical CW show, in that it throws a bunch of blandly pretty, young people into dramatic situations and stirs. Not my type of show at all, although the thought of Kristin Kreuk as a hard-boiled detective from New York City is hilarious.
Grey's Anatomy - Season 9 (ABC - 8-9PM - premieres September 27):
I watched this show back in Seasons 1 and 2, but even back then, the viewing party I watched with spent half the time making fun of it. It has long-since veered into completely unwatchable, and I won't be paying the least bit of attention to it.
The Office - Season 9 (NBC - 8-9PM - premieres September 20):
Like 30 Rock, it's a show I used to watch. Like 30 Rock, this will be its final season. Unlike 30 Rock, I won't be watching it later.
Person of Interest - Season 2 (CBS - 8-9PM - premieres September 27):
I've never seen a single episode of this show, and what's more, I never hear anything about it. Is it great? Does it suck? Nobody I talk to or read seems to know. It's not outside the realm of possibility I'll watch someday, but I won't be watching weekly.
Parks and Recreation - Season 5 (NBC - 8:30-9PM - premieres September 20):
Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
Jersey Shore - Season 6 (MTV - 9-10PM - premieres October 4):
No! No, no, no!
Glee - Season 4 (Fox - 8-9PM - premiered September 13):
I used to watch this show every week, but once it began to run off the rails, I officially graduated from Glee. Frankly, I don't miss it. I continue to read reviews and comments about the episodes as they air, and if there's a remarkable performance or something, I'll look it up, but I see no need to sign back up as a weekly viewer.
Scandal - Season 2 (ABC - 9-10PM - premieres September 27):
I've never seen this show, and Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice have made me deeply suspicious of Shonda Rhimes offerings. Still, that's not to say I won't watch this show someday. That day just won't be September 27.
Last Resort - Season 1 (ABC - 7-8PM - premieres September 27):
This is the other Thursday show that interests me, but while the premise is intriguing, I have a little trouble envisioning it as a weekly show. Andre Braugher and Scott Speedman command a nuclear sub that goes rogue after questioning an order to attack Pakistan, so they go hide out on an island. I can see that being an amazing pilot, and can also see it running out of steam quickly. I'm anxious to see where they go with it, though.
The Big Bang Theory - Season 6 (CBS - 7-7:30PM - premieres September 27):
This is a good "laundry show" - a program to half pay attention to while you putter around getting household chores done. I won't set my watch by it, but I wouldn't mind checking in for an episode here and there.
STRATEGY
Not difficult. I can begin with Last Resort at 7PM, then catch Parks and Recreation at 8:30PM. If Last Resort doesn't work out, I can always replace it with The Big Bang Theory or 30 Rock.
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