2013 Fall TV Preview: Monday

For some reason, my social plans (such as they are) have mostly been taking place on weekdays lately. I'll pack Monday through Thursday with dinner plans, movies, and other hangout activities with friends, only to find myself sitting around the apartment twiddling my thumbs on Saturday. It's odd! And if it keeps up, it'll play merry hell with my television watching schedule. Fortunately, the crop of new shows this season isn't as exciting as in seasons past, so it should theoretically be easier to stay current with the ones I'm interested in. Here's a peek at what's on the slate for Mondays (as always, all times given are Central).


Sleepy Hollow (September 16, FOX, 8PM): I'm not even going to attempt to summarize this - let me paraphrase from the A.V. Club's description: "Instead of the cowardly schoolteacher-cum-ladies man of the short story, this Ichabod Crane is a former Oxford professor turned revolutionary in the War Of Independence who, on special instruction from George Washington, cut off the head of a villainous redcoat who may or may not be one of the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse. Crane is then buried for more than 200 years, only to rise from the dead just as the Headless Horseman gets up to his old ax-murdering tricks again. There’s also a police officer who gets sucked into Crane’s adventures in order to avenge her murdered boss." WHAT?!? Normally, I'd write this off as not for me, but as you can see from the premiere date, it's already aired, and people online are reporting that it's a craziness that fascinates, rather than repels. I'm hoping to catch up with the first episode tonight, and we'll see where it goes from there.

Mom (September 23, CBS, 8:30PM): This show has a lot working for it, and a lot working against it. On the plus side, it stars Anna Faris as a recovering alcoholic with two kids and an ex-addict mother played by Allison Janney. Both of those actresses are aces in my book. Well, maybe Janney is an Ace and Faris is a Jack, but you take my point. On the minus side, all that I've read implies that is another Chuck Lorre lowest-common-denominator show, and I have no wish to watch the female version of Two and a Half Men. I wouldn't be opposed to watching the pilot, but I make no promises.

Hostages (September 23, CBS, 9PM): According to one of the producers, "it's a bit like Downton Abbey meets 24... That you have a man standing behind a door aiming a gun at your head, it just supercharges all of these story lines." Yes, well that makes total...huh? The basis of this show has some promise - Toni Collette is a surgeon who is due to operate on the President, but kidnappers take her family and threaten to kill them if she doesn't intentionally botch the surgery. I'm not sure how long such a premise can be spun out, but I've heard worse ideas. How the fuck that has anything to do with Downton Abbey is beyond me, though.

The Blacklist (September 23, NBC, 9PM): I have no interest in America's Got Talent, but its final performance episode was on in the background last night. During one of the many, many commercial breaks, NBC promoted The Blacklist by airing its opening scene. I'm not sure why they did that, because it was pretty lackluster. The premise is puzzling, too. A super-criminal (James Spader) turns himself in for unknown reasons, and agrees to help the FBI track down criminals so terrible that the government isn't even aware of their existence. But he'll only talk to one particular, undistinguished agent (Megan Boone), also for unknown reasons. It seems like a diet version of Hannibal, and probably won't snag my attention.

We Are Men (September 30, CBS, 7:30PM): Remember that wave of brotastic, "mancession" shows that premiered a season or two ago and mercifully burned down, fell over, and sank into the swamp almost instantly? Apparently, CBS doesn't. America may have hated Guys With Kids and Work It and How to Be a Gentleman, but they're sure to love this! A dumped groom moves into a Kirk Van Houten-esque apartment complex for divorced men, and bonds with the other sadsack residents there. So many wonderful opportunities for jokes about hot daughters and bitchy ex-wives! I can't wait to not watch this.

Almost Human (November 4, FOX, 7PM): A mid-season replacement for Bones. It's 2048, and a technophobic cop is partnered with an android that has feelings and free will. So, a futuristic procedural. I won't dismiss it out of hand, but I will say that it doesn't sound like it's up my alley. Still, I may be curious enough to check out the pilot.


How I Met Your Mother (September 23, CBS, 7PM): I don't watch this show in real time, but have caught up with all of the available seasons on Netflix. That puts me a full season behind, so I won't be watching Season 9 as it airs, either. I'll stick to my method of waiting for it to be available via streaming.


This section is to quickly mention the returning shows that I've never seen, but that are on my radar to catch up with someday, if I ever get the opportunity:

There are no Monday shows that fit this category. That's an asset, not a liability. God knows I already have too many things on my to-watch list. Maybe Monday can be my designated Breaking Bad day or something.


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