Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Kodos

I like books that have a fresh take on things, and just in case you're an aspiring writer, please know that vampires-live-among-us is no longer a fresh take. What is a fresh take is the idea that on the day of his successor's inauguration, William Howard Taft disappeared from the face of the Earth, only to reappear in late 2011 with no sense of having done more than take a quick snooze. I heard about Jason Heller's novel because he writes for the Onion's AV Club, which is my current website of choice, and I thought this book sounded like a fun read. And it is!

Of course, there's the whole issue of getting acclimated to modern-day technologies and attitudes, but once Taft gets beyond that, he finds himself pulled back into the political arena, half against his will. Republicans love his pro-business stance. Democrats love his progressive social ideas. A third party rapidly coalesces around him, desperate for him to take another run at the White House. In the early twentieth century, he was a dud, but filtered through the lens of our ever-churning media cycle, he's turned into a rock star.

Ridiculously biased cable news commentary and vicious internet sniping are ripe for satire, of course, but Heller can do that in his sleep. What's truly remarkable is that Taft 2012 achieves more than just poking fun at our often absurd media and political system. It gives us an elbow to the ribs as a reminder of what democracy is actually supposed to be about, and paints Taft as a historical figure worth learning about, rather than just writing him off as that fat, milquetoast one with the giant bathtub.

Taft 2012: B+

Super Cuts

Of all the things that cause me to miss out on potentially quality movies, one of the biggest is my aversion to gore. I don't mind violence at all, but once the skulls start getting split or the arms get chopped off, I'm out of there. I love a good scare, I just don't equate being scared with being grossed out.

Finding the line between acceptable violence and unacceptable gore is a delicate balancing act, and I don't always get it right. A friend and I watched Super over the weekend (at my insistence, even), and although I knew it was going to be brutally violent, I wasn't prepared for the extreme level of realistic gore. I wound up having to watch half of it through my fingers, and averted my eyes at several points, only to be forced to listen to the squishy noises of various people having their various body parts forcibly removed.

Still, for all I couldn't handle, it didn't wind up being nearly as terrible an experience as it could have. All in all, it was a pretty entertaining movie. Rainn Wilson plays a socially-maladjusted diner cook who turns to vigilante justice after his wife (Liv Tyler) leaves him for a sleazy drug dealer (Kevin Bacon). Ellen Page rounds out the cast as a comic book clerk who enthusiastically joins the cause as sidekick to "The Crimson Bolt", and the two of them get to fighting crime. It doesn't matter if you're a rapist or just a guy who cuts the line at the movies; you break the law, you get a pipe wrench to the head.

There have been a few normal-person-assumes-mantle-of-crime-fighter movies lately, so they each have to set themselves apart, and this one does it by being ultra-gross. Normally, that would make me judge it pretty harshly, but surprisingly, the clever writing and acting in this splatter flick does just as much to make it unique.

Super: B

The Key Ingredient

Key & Peele - Season 1, Episode 1

For all that I read and listen to about the entertainment world, plenty still escapes my notice. I'm all over those "25 New Shows For 2012!" kinds of lists, and plenty of podcasts I subscribe to generally give me a heads-up on shows to look out for, but I was going over some television write-ups the other day, and came across a glowing review for the first episode of a sketch comedy show on Comedy Central that I had never heard of. I was immediately intrigued, and when someone I follow on Twitter also started jabbering about how good the first episode of Key & Peele was, I knew I had to track it down.

I don't know much about the stars except their names are Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, they both used to be on MADtv, and they're both biracial. That's it. So I jumped into this episode with zero expectations, and wound up really enjoying it. Being biracial can lead to all sorts of awkward situations, and these guys really know how to mine it for laughs, from a skit about how black guys talk when other black guys are around to one about critics of President Obama complaining that he's not angry enough. Not that they just stick to racial issues; they knocked one out of the park with a skit about supposedly alpha males being terrified of their wives. The interstitial bits between skits when they're riffing in front of a studio audience are a little weak, but for the most part, everything worked well.

Just as I don't automatically declare a show a failure after a bad pilot, I can't deem this one an absolute success after a good one. Still, it gave me several belly laughs, which is all I can ask from a comedy, and I'll definitely be catching the next episode.

Episode 1: A-

It's the End of the World As We Know It

What I'm Watching: RuPaul's Drag Race - Season 4

All reality shows reach a point where the formula just doesn't work anymore, despite (or in some cases, due to) the personalities and challenges getting bigger and more intense. America's Next Top Model. Project Runway. The Amazing Race. All are shows I used to follow religiously, and have now lost my interest. Even my beloved Top Chef is starting to show its age. So at some point, the cheeky charm of RuPaul's Drag Race will fade. But judging by the Season 4 premiere, it hasn't happened yet.

I'm still trying to wrap up Season 3, and was worried that I'd be queened out, but no such tragedy has befallen. This show manages to get me invested in the outcome, while still being light, and moving along at an agreeably quick pace. I don't think I like this crop of queens quite as much as the ones in Season 3, but there are already one or two standouts.

This premiere episode's theme is post-apocalyptic ferocity, and even if some of the ladies can't even pronounce that, they're able to bring some incredible end-of-days couture to the runway. Elvira graces the judges' table, bringing the wit and wisdom I love her for. Side Note: People are always talking about the actresses of Hollywood, and the lengths they'll go to retain their youth, but Elvira looks exactly the same as she did in the '80s, without being a garish mess of plastic surgery. Janice Dickinson's Death Mask, take note.

It's uncanny how much this show gets right. In most episodes of this show, I agree with the choice for both the winner and the loser, which is uncommon for most reality TV. It's sincere without being sappy. It's wacky without being whacked out. RuPaul's Drag Race could easily be an over-the-top mess, but instead, it somehow manages to be an over-the-top delight.

Get Me Off This Rock

Pilots are often not the best indicator of how a new television show is going to shake out, so I like to give them a few episodes to find their legs. Well, we are now at episode four of JJ Abrams' Alcatraz, so I don't have to feel guilty about dropping it like a bag of wet cement.

I can see where they're trying to go with this. There are already too many cop procedurals on the air, so you have to set yourself apart from the crowd to avoid being overlooked. So why not add some of Abrams' patented long-arc mythology to spice things up? In this case, a batch of violent criminals vanished from Alcatraz in the 1963, and are now reappearing in modern-day San Francisco to wreak havoc anew. Sam Neill is the mysterious expert who rounds up the errant inmates with his team, which consists of Jorge Garcia as a shy, nerdy Alcatraz expert and Sarah Jones, a hard-nosed cop that REFUSES TO PLAY BY THE RULES. Sigh.

You know, I'm going to go ahead and just leave out the part where the good guys could just wait around the island and pick up the miscreants as they appear, instead of tracking these people down after they start murdering citizens. And the part where these people who last walked the streets in the 1950s pop into modern existence with absolutely no sense of culture shock. Cell phones? No problem! Weaponry? Nah, that hasn't changed in 60 years! Computers? Of course they'd know exactly how those operate! I'm leaving those ridiculous things aside, because who knows? They may figure into whatever shadowy background story is causing this event in the first place.

The problem is that shadowy background story takes up the last forty seconds of every episode. The remainder is just another paint-by-numbers, bland cop procedural. And frankly, not a very good one. Maybe they're building to something awesome. Maybe the story will become more intricate. And hey, if it does, I can always come back and fill in the blanks. But for now, Alcatraz, you have been found guilty of the ultimate television sin: Being Boring. I'm afraid that carries the death penalty.

Alcatraz: C-

"Like" This

Within a week or two, I hope to have seen all of 2012 Academy Award Best Picture nominees I care to, but last year, I wasn't half so diligent. I've still got a lot of movies to catch up on, but I managed to get one under my belt the other night by finally watching The Social Network.

When I first saw this movie advertised, I have to admit that I dismissed it out-of-hand. I may have said snide, condescending things like: "A Facebook movie? What, they couldn't get that script about how Whole Foods was founded nailed down?" It sounded silly and pointless. Then, people started to tell me that actually, this thing was pretty good. Then, it racked up awards left and right. But as usual, I'm a late adopter. I didn't join Facebook until most people had already joined, and I didn't watch the Facebook movie until most people had already seen it.

Part of me still remained skeptical, but after watching it, I have to say that I was wrong. It's a very good movie, and I should have given it more of a chance. Jesse Eisenberg does a worthy job as Mark Zuckerberg, though I get the sense that playing an intelligent person lacking in social graces isn't much of a stretch for him. The only thing that struck me as odd about the other characters was how the filmmakers intended to paint these real-life people, both as heroes and villains. Nobody is portrayed as purely good or purely evil, which makes sense, given that they're actual people, and not characters in a Dudley Do-right cartoon. There are a couple of notable exceptions, though.

Eduardo Savarin (as played by Andrew Garfield) is the movie's martyr. Plunged into a shark tank he's ill-equipped to navigate, he's soon marginalized and cheated, despite his noble intentions. On the flip side, Sean Parker (as played by Justin Timberlake) is a opportunistic douche who radiates confidence, but folds like a card table when faced with any real challenge. I'm not complaining about these characterizations, but I do wonder how much artistic license was taken to enhance the adversarial theme of the movie.

In any event, The Social Network explores all sorts of interesting ideas, from questions about how far friendship stretches to whether people born into a life of entitlement are still due a fair share when they feel wronged. It also gave me a much-needed reminder that I should really think twice before judging a film too hastily. Unless it's Twilight-related. Then all bets are off.

The Social Network: B+

Bad Touch

Touch - Season 1, Episode 1

I'll often try out a show I'm not particularly excited about. It's not unheard of that my initial assumptions were incorrect, and a show I thought was going to be disappointing actually captures my attention. Mostly, though, my initial assumptions were spot-on, and the new series Touch is not an exception.

The premise is interesting enough, if increasingly worn: The underlying equations and numbers that our universe is based on could tell us everything we'd ever need to know, if only we knew how to interpret them. Besides that, all I knew going in was Kiefer Sutherland, Tim Kring, and yet another Magical Autistic Child. Two of those three aren't promising. Tim Kring took Heroes, a show with a fascinating story, a good effects budget, and terrific actors, and somehow managed to make it completely unwatchable. The Magical Autistic Child who cannot function socially but conceals some kind of vast talent or superpower is also quickly wearing out its welcome.

I wanted to give the show a fair shot, though, and went into it with an open mind. In a word... Meh. It's not terrible, but there really isn't much story to it. The pilot mostly functioned as a way to show off Sutherland's silent progeny, and his amazing gift for predicting disaster through numbers. I'm willing to suspend disbelief, of course, but a lot of story elements depend on not just the kid's ability to foresee events, but to predict every human reaction to those events. That's not science. That's not even coincidence; it's contrivance.

There's a kernel of a good idea buried in this show, but in order for it to really succeed, it's going to have to depend more on its character interactions than on the weight of a mysterious mythology that is already threatening to collapse. I'll probably give Touch another episode, but if it appears that every week is a new excuse to weave ludicrous coincidences together with no real purpose, the only thing getting touched is the channel changer.

Pilot: C

Monster Mash

What I'm Watching: Being Human (US) - Season 2

I don't have a problem with the whole supernatural creature (vampire, werewolf, zombie, etc.) craze going on in entertainment right now, but it does seem like they're scraping the bottom of the barrel as far good ideas. We've come a long way since Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and unfortunately, it's been mostly downhill. If someone comes along with a fresh take on things, though, I'm always willing to hop on board.

Being Human started out as a British television show, and follows the stories of a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost, both individually and as a group of housemates. It was adapted into an American version, and I mostly enjoyed the first season, so I figured I'd tune in for Season 2 as well.

The show does some things better than others. As far as the individual stories, the vampire saga is fairly weak. It seems to split mostly evenly between vampire-with-a-heart-of-gold treacle and power-struggles-within-the-council-of-vampires tedium. The werewolf story is fairly standard, and tracks the character's self-loathing and attempts to forge some sort of relationship with the woman he adores. Things are picking up in the current season, with pregnancy and werewolf infection getting thrown into the mix. The ghost story is the most interesting to me, as it progresses in multiple directions, from Sally's haunting of her murderous fiancee to her exploration of manipulating objects in the physical world to her search for the reasons she hasn't moved on to the next realm.

The group scenes are the best. The three otherworldly roommates have great chemistry, and it's fun to watch them commiserate about being outcasts, support each other's plans, and wildly misunderstand what makes each other tick. You get the sense that if you woke up as a hellish beast tomorrow, it would all be bearable if you could hang out with pals like these. Even if they do occasionally behead their boss or melt through the wall.

2012 Oscar Nominations

The entertainment year revolves around the Oscars, and I always look forward to the day the nominees are announced, so I can bury myself in articles about who will win and who should win and who was snubbed, and so on. Oh, and all those Facebook statuses by people who loudly crow that they don't even care about the Academy Awards. Yeah, well, I don't care about your toddler, and that doesn't seem to stop you, does it? Where was I? Oh, yeah! The nominees are out, and the list supports my theory that this was a pretty disappointing year for movies. Shall we dive in?

BEST PICTURE

THE ARTIST
THE DESCENDANTS
THE HELP
THE TREE OF LIFE
HUGO
MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
MONEYBALL
WAR HORSE
EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE

So, nine nominees. I've seen five of them, (and will have seen the sixth by the time the awards are given out). Of those five, only The Artist is a movie I'd call truly award-worthy. It's not that Moneyball or The Descendants were bad or anything, it's just that they don't stand out as especially noteworthy. I wonder what film the tenth nomination slot would have gone to, if they were still going by the old rules. It probably would have been Drive, but I'm giving my imaginary vote to Contagion, which was solidly better than several of the movies listed up there.

BEST ACTOR

George Clooney, THE DESCENDANTS
Brad Pitt, MONEYBALL
Jean Dujardin, THE ARTIST
Damien Bachir, A BETTER LIFE
Gary Oldman, TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY

BEST ACTRESS

Glenn Close, ALBERT NOBBS
Viola Davis, THE HELP
Rooney Mara, THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
Meryl Streep, THE IRON LADY
Michelle Williams, MY WEEK WITH MARILYN

2011 truly was the Year of the Great Performances in Underwhelming Movies. Viola Davis was great in The Help, which wasn't. Meryl Streep was great in The Iron Lady, which wasn't. And so on. The field is too bland for me to make a confident prediction of the winner, but Clooney will probably snag the Best Actor prize, while I hope Davis takes Best Actress. It's too bad that Tilda Swinton didn't get a nomination for We Need To Talk About Kevin. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I loves me some Swinton.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Kenneth Branagh, MY WEEK WITH MARILYN
Nick Nolte, WARRIOR
Jonah Hill, MONEYBALL
Max von Sydow, EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE
Christopher Plummer, BEGINNERS

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Berenice Bejo, THE ARTIST
Melissa McCarthy, BRIDESMAIDS
Janet McTeer, ALBERT NOBBS
Octavia Spencer, THE HELP
Jessica Chastain, THE HELP

Academy Award Nominee Jonah Hill. That sounds weird, doesn't it? All of the categories are hard to predict this year, with Best Supporting Actor being the only possible exception. Anything can happen, of course, but Plummer looks to have this one all sewn up. Best Supporting Actress is a lot more difficult. I'm sure Jessica Chastain is a lovely woman, but there is no reason on Earth her performance in The Help should have earned this nomination. I haven't seen Albert Nobbs, and McTeer seems like a long-shot, but then, so did Marcia Gay Harden. Spencer got the Golden Globe, but who knows how much of a predictor that is anymore? I loved Berenice Bejo's performance, but must admit that it would be a refreshing change for a bawdy comedy performance like McCarthy's to win.

BEST DIRECTOR

Michel Hazanavicius, THE ARTIST
Alexander Payne, THE DESCENDANTS
Martin Scorsese, HUGO
Woody Allen, MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
Terrence Malick, THE TREE OF LIFE

I always feel like I need to surreptitiously survey my general area to make sure there aren't attackers lurking, ready to pounce every time I say that Hugo is the most overrated movie of the year. It was certainly beautiful, and two-thirds of it was very enjoyable. All of the parts having to do with that obnoxious kid and his adventures in the train station, though, were overwrought and hackneyed. It pains me to think that Scorsese might win this year. I know he was overlooked for a lot of his earlier, more worthy movies, which is a terrible oversight, and will certainly be the subject of an Award Repo. He doesn't deserve the prize this year, though, and given the way that Academy members tend to stick to their stalwarts, I'm afraid he may be the subject of his own Repo someday.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Nat Faxon, Alexander Payne and Jim Rash, THE DESCENDANTS
Aaron Sorkin and Steven Zaillian, MONEYBALL
John Logan, HUGO
George Clooney and Grant Heslov, IDES OF MARCH
Bridget O'Connor and Peter Straughan, TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Woody Allen, MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
Michel Hazanavicius, THE ARTIST
Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumulo, BRIDESMAIDS
JC Chandor, MARGIN CALL
Asghar Farhadi, A SEPARATION

I don't have a great track record in predicting what will win the writing awards. This is the one category that I do think The Descendants should win, and I'm not just saying that because Jim Rash is on Community. I'm sure someone smarter than me can explain how a screenplay nomination for The Artist works. Is it just a bunch of stage directions? Woody Allen always seems to clean up in writing categories, so this may be the one category that nets him a win this year.

BEST ART DIRECTION

THE ARTIST
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2
HUGO
MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
WAR HORSE

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

THE ARTIST
THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
HUGO
THE TREE OF LIFE
WAR HORSE

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

ANONYMOUS
THE ARTIST
HUGO
JANE EYRE
W.E.

I don't think Hugo deserves half the praise it's getting, but one area that the hype is totally justified is the Art Direction. Similarly, the people who tell me the The Tree of Life is pretentious nonsense begrudgingly admit that the cinematography was incredible. I'm not sure what to think in the area of costume design. All five of the nominees are period pieces, and Colleen Atwood isn't up for the award this year, so who knows?

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

HELL AND BACK AGAIN
IF A TREE FALLS
PARADISE LOST 3: PURGATORY
PINA
UNDEFEATED

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT

"The Barber of Brimingham"
"God is the Bigger Elvis"
"Saving Face"
"The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom"
"Incident in New Baghdad"

BEST LIVE-ACTION SHORT

"Pentecost"
"Raju"
"The Shore"
"Time Freak"
"Tuba Atlantic"

BEST ANIMATED SHORT

"Dimanche/Sunday"
"The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore"
"La Luna"
"A Morning Stroll"
"Wild Life"

I haven't seen any of the above. Hopefully, one of the local movie theaters will have one of those nights where they'll screen all of the nominated short films. As to the documentaries, I'll have to do some research to see if any of them aren't the usual horrors-of-humanity fare that I get tired of pretty quickly.

BEST EDITING

THE ARTIST
THE DESCENDANTS
THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
HUGO
MONEYBALL

Your guess is as good as mine.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

BULLHEAD
FOOTNOTE
IN DARKNESS
A SEPARATION
MONSIEUR LAZHAR

I haven't seen A Separation, but judging by the amount of internet ink I've seen spilled over it, it seems a safe bet.

BEST ANIMATED FILM

RANGO
CHICO AND RITA
A CAT IN PARIS
KUNG FU PANDA 2
PUSS IN BOOTS

BEST MAKEUP

ALBERT NOBBS
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2
THE IRON LADY

I don't have a dog in either of these races, although I didn't really see anything in The Iron Lady to suggest it needed to be recognized in the makeup category.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN
THE ARTIST
HUGO
TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY
WAR HORSE

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

"Man or Muppet," THE MUPPETS
"Real in Rio," RIO

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2
HUGO
REAL STEEL
RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

I normally don't think too much about the Best Original Score category, but this year, I have an actual opinion. In a movie with no dialogue, the score essentially functions as an additional character, and it was used to fantastic effect in The Artist. I don't think there can be much argument that it deserves the win, no matter how many heart-swelling violin pieces were written for War Horse. I don't even know what's going on in the song category. Two songs? And that's the one they picked from The Muppets? Weird. Visual effects is a tough choice, but I'll go out on a limb and guess that it'll go to Harry Potter as a kind of fond farewell to the series.

BEST SOUND EDITING

DRIVE
THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
HUGO
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON
WAR HORSE

BEST SOUND MIXING

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO
HUGO
MONEYBALL
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON
WAR HORSE

The sound mixing team from Transformers has been ignored for long enough! I demand that these pioneers of aural accomplishment...

Yeah, I couldn't keep that up. Look, sound editing and mixing are noble professions, but there's no reason these two awards need to be included in the telecast. Nobody knows what they entail, and frankly, nobody cares. Everyone's always talking about how the Oscar ceremony is too long, and one of the quickest fixes is to shuffle these two categories off to the technical awards.

And there you have it! I'm surprised that Young Adult didn't receive a single nomination, given all the buzz it got. I'm not thrilled to see that the schmaltzy 9/11 misery porn got a Best Picture nomination, but it's a safe bet that it'll lose, and we can go back to ignoring it. What else is there to say? I wish I could be more excited about this crop of movies, but it's been an unfortunately bland year. People are always wringing their hands over how bad the telecast is, and with this slate of nominees, I wonder how they're going to generate any kind of excitement. Is it too late to ask James Franco back to cause another trainwreck?

Mini Movie Review: Joyful Noise

When I head to the movie theater just to have fun, rather than for the quality of the movie itself, trying to come up with a well-reasoned review just seems silly. So why not embrace the silliness with a silly mini-movie review?

-1:15 PM
I arrive at the Esquire theater. For those not from St. Louis, the only reason you'd ever go to a movie at the Esquire is if you don't mind the other patrons... Interacting with the movie. You know, yelling at the screen and loudly opining that the characters shouldn't go in there. I wouldn't see We Need to Talk About Kevin at the Esquire, but for things like Spiderman 3 or Joyful Noise, it can be a grand old time.

-1:20 PM
I meet my friends Tiffany and Becky at the concession stand, and buy a soda with some room at the top of the cup. This may have something to do with the bulge in Tiffany's coat pocket.

-1:30 PM
Previews. I make a raspberry noise for all the movies I have no interest in seeing, which turns out to be all of them.

-1:33 PM
ESPECIALLY the anti-abortion one. PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTH.

-1:34 PM
Just seeing that is enough to ask for the coat bulge to be revealed. Out comes the Captain Morgan, which is surreptitiously added to all of our sodas.

-1:37 PM
The title screen comes up, and the only other people sitting nearby curse, stand up, and leave. Apparently, all those previews with warm family messages and Tyler Perry didn't tip them off that they weren't in the theater next door, which is showing The Devil Inside.

-1:55 PM
We devise a game in which we have to take a drink every time a down-home folksy cliche like "The cheese may be free in the mousetraps, but trust me, the mice there ain't happy," pops up.

-1:57 PM
And whenever "regionals" or "nationals" are mentioned.

-2:04 PM
There is a character whose sole trait is that she repeats what people just said. She turns out to be the best secondary character in the whole movie.

-2:15 PM
Because the other secondary characters are 1) A lady who can't find a boyfriend because a dude died after fucking her, and 2) A gangly white guy who is having trouble with his faith because the economy is so bad.

-2:16 PM
Although I don't admit to Tiffany and Becky that I think said gangly white guy is super-cute.

-2:20 PM
That said, there sure is a lot of racial diversity in this gospel choir from small town Georgia. Plus, two interracial relationships, because people from small town Georgia never have any problems with that.

-2:40 PM
It's very important that the choir does well in competition, because the sluggish economy is causing all the businesses in town to collapse. And nothing pays the rent or fills empty bellies like a church choir winning a contest. That sounds glib, but there is literally a scene in which people in a bread line tell choir members that winning is their last hope.

-2:44 PM
The writers think that if they directly address the fact that Dolly Parton has had seventeen face lifts, that should end any conversation about the fact that she doesn't look quite human anymore. And I say this as a massive Dolly fan. Sad.

-2:47 PM
I haven't said anything about the forbidden romance between Queen Latifah's daughter and Dolly Parton's grandson. Nope, I sure haven't.

-2:50 PM
That grandson is meant to be a handsome rogue, but is totally that douchey guy who plays guitar in the corner at every college party, trying to get into the insecure girls' pants.

-2:55 PM
That folksy cliche drinking rule has really paid off in spades. Urp.

-2:59 PM
If you're going to try and get out of explaining your quirky character by making them autistic, you should probably do a modicum of research on autism.

-3:03 PM
There is actually a scene in which the choir sings updated music instead of the tired old standards, and shows this transition by taking off their choir robes to show the bright clothing beneath. Really.

-3:12 PM
The choir wins the big competition. Everyone in the small town is thrilled, and the movie is capped off with a wedding. Please ignore the fact that except for learning valuable lessons about life and love, nobody's life materially improves.

I wasn't expecting much out of this movie, which is why I was able to enjoy it. The guy who directed this also directed Camp, and it suffers from a lot of the same problems. Chiefly, all the music is great, and most of the storyline is crap. I was hoping for a bit more catfighting between Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton, but all I really asked from this movie is some showstopping numbers, and on that front, it was able to deliver.

Joyful Noise (as a movie): C+
Joyful Noise (as an experience): B+