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Kyle's Appetizer Platter

Four Courses Podcast - Special Episode 2

It's time for another Very Special Episode of Four Courses. Our last special episode was a flashback to some favorite Dessert segments of episodes past, but this all-Appetizer episode is brand new content. Kyle is branching off into some new creative ventures, and so we have to bid good-bye to him as a regular host. We had to mark the occasion, though, so we send him off by hitting the town and eating/drinking at some of his favorite places.


Go listen to the episode here to join us for stops at Pi Pizza, The Royale, The Kitchen Sink, The Cup, and The Fountain on Locust. Enjoy!
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Pop Culture Homework Assignment #15: Around the World in 80 Days

I've been enjoying the Pop Culture Homework Project, but once in a while, it reveals to me that I've missed my window. Catching up on books like A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Wuthering Heights long after everyone else has read them was fine, because those books don't really have a narrow target audience, age-wise. But when it comes to books like A Wrinkle In Time, I just can't experience the way I'm supposed to, as an innocent child.

And now, I'm afraid, the same goes for Jules Verne's 1873 classic, Around the World in 80 Days. Even finding a complete and unabridged copy of this novel was a challenge. Every time I thought I had found it at the library, it turned out to be a picture book or an adaptation for kids, with dumbed-down vocab and words printed as big as bagels. Finally, I was hanging out with a friend one night, and noticed an unabridged copy sitting on his bookshelf. Fortuitous!

As you no doubt know, Around the World in 80 Days centers around one Mr. Phileas Fogg, a very wealthy man living in London, who bets the other members of his gentleman's club that he can circle the globe in the titular timeframe. This was nearly impossible in the late 1800s, and for him to make it, every single thing must go right for him; a single and minor delay will put him irrevocably out of the running. His entire fortune, not to mention his reputation, rests on this wager.

The laconic Fogg drags his new manservant Passepartout along on the journey, meeting a lovely and helpless woman (Aouda) during their travels. After saving her from being sacrificed in a ritual she also joins them. The group is being pursued by the detective Fix, who is convinced that Fogg is financing his trip with ill-gotten money he has stolen from a bank. He longs to arrest Fogg, and awaits the legal warrant to do so as he follows them from country to country.


Sounds like a thrilling adventure, doesn't it? Unfortunately, almost all the barriers to Fogg's success (and there are many) melt away for one single reason: Money. People not moving in enough of a hurry? Fogg throws money at them, and they speed right up. No means of conveyance available other than an elephant the owner doesn't want to part with? Fogg throws money at it, and the elephant is his. Captain of a ship not willing to deviate his route to help out? Fogg throws money at it, buys the ship and the crew's help, and gets back on track. Money, money, money. It's kind of boring.

Add to this some strange writing quirks (Aouda falling in love with Fogg for no real reason, an off-page rescue of Passepartout from Native American bandits), and it's clear that a book I would have found quite a thrill at age seven is slight and uninspiring at age thirty-seven. It's not a bad book, by any stretch of the imagination. But it's pretty clear that if I ever want to experience this story as it's meant to be enjoyed, I'm going to need a DeLorean, a flux capacitor, and some plutonium first.

Around the World in 80 Days: C+
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Rogues Gallery

Of all the movie franchises that I continue to keep up with, Mission Impossible may have the weakest hold on me, at least from a story perspective. If you ask me about the lore of James Bond, I can describe M and Moneypenny and Q and SPECTRE and all that jazz. But when it comes to this franchise, the individual movies tend to evaporate out of my head a few days after seeing them, leaving behind just general impressions of the setpieces that caught my attention.

But even though I can't tell you plot of any of the preceding movies, though I've seen them all, I continue to have fun with this franchise, and headed to the theater to see the latest installment, Rogue Nation. Again, the over-arching plot doesn't make much difference. There's a team of good guys, a team of bad guys, and an agent in the middle who nobody can quite figure out. They're all after a MacGuffin, and whatever-who-cares. What really stands out is the action.

The marketing for this movie played up the opening scene, in which Tom Cruise clings to the outside of a plane that's taking off. Make no mistake, that was cool to watch, but it says a lot about this movie's strengths that it was about the third most thrilling part. I mean, watching Cruise hang on for dear life was neat, but watching four agents wend their way through a theater as an opera is performed, and not knowing who to trust or what terrible shit is about to go down had me on the edge of my seat.


Another standout is Ilsa, the agent in the middle of it all, played by Rebecca Ferguson. Her role is extremely well-acted, but more importantly, it's well-written. MINOR SPOILER ALERT.

Here are a few things that Ilsa does not do: Have an emotional breakdown. Take her mission cues from a male character. Turn into a puddle of goo and develop romantic feelings for Ethan Hunt. Need rescuing (at least no more so than any agent would require). Get overwhelmed physically in a fight. She is, in fact, a perfectly self-sufficient character, which was really great to see.

It's entirely possible that Rogue Nation will be able to distinguish itself in my mind from the other Mission Impossible movies, and might even stick in my memory more than its predecessors. But even if it doesn't, it was a fun, thrilling movie, and the perfect way to spend a summer evening with friends.

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation: B+
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Rank and File: Pixar Movies - Part 7

Fifteen movies is no small feat. When we started the Pixar ranking project on the last day of June, I thought getting two busy people to sync their schedules would mean that we'd wrap up around Halloween. But here we are, not even two months later, and we're done! This has been an amazing experience. So many of my expectations have been upended, and it's gobsmacking how these films have shifted in my estimation. Maybe I'm looking at them through a different lens because I'm challenging the reputations that had calcified in my head. Maybe things changed because I watched all fifteen in rapid succession, making them easier to compare and contrast. In any event, we've got our final rankings, and they were agonizing; some really tough choices had to be made. I'll put the results at the end of this post, but first, let's wrap up the final trio!

Brave (2012)

The entertainment industry has (rightly) taken heat for not featuring enough female protagonists, and Brave is an excellent step in the right direction. Its two main characters are a mother and daughter who don't see eye-to-eye on much of anything, and though Merida is a princess, the movie is much more about forging a loving bond with your family than any romantic intrigue. I really liked this movie when it was released, and it's only gotten better with age. I still think the stitching between the two main story components is a little rough, but on an emotional level, this is one of Pixar's best.


The short in front of it is "La Luna", which is about a grandfather and his son teaching the third generation the family business, which in this case, is climbing up to the moon and sweeping stardust. It suffers a bit in comparison to other shorts on a story level, but visually, it's incredibly beautiful, earning it a decent placement on the ranking.

Current Feature Rankings:

#1: Finding Nemo (2003)
#2: Ratatouille (2007)
#3: Toy Story 3 (2010)
#4: Brave (2012)
#5: The Incredibles (2004)
#6: Toy Story 2 (1999)
#7: Monsters, Inc. (2001)
#8: Toy Story (1995)
#9: Up (2009)
#10: WALL-E (2008)
#11: A Bug's Life (1998)
#12: Cars (2006)
#13: Cars 2 (2011)

Current Short Rankings:

#1: Day & Night (paired with Toy Story 3)
#2: Presto (paired with WALL-E)
#3: One Man Band (paired with Cars)
#4: Geri's Game (paired with A Bug's Life)
#5: Lifted (paired with Ratatouille)
#6: La Luna (paired with Brave)
#7: Partly Cloudy (paired with Up)
#8: Hawaiian Vacation (paired with Cars 2)
#9: Boundin' (paired with The Incredibles)
#10: For the Birds (paired with Monsters, Inc.)
#11: Knick Knack (paired with Finding Nemo)
#12: Luxo Jr. (paired with Toy Story 2)
#13: Tin Toy (paired with Toy Story)

Monsters University (2013)

This movie was one of the two (along with Cars 2) that I had not seen before this project. Even when it comes to a company as generally trustworthy as Pixar, I'm always a little suspicious that sequels won't stack up to their predecessors. I'm not sure why I continue to think that, as every successive Toy Story has gotten better and better, but that nagging impulse is still there. This time, that impulse was confirmed, because while Monsters University is a funny, beautiful, charming movie, it doesn't come close to reaching the heights that Monsters, Inc. did.

In this movie, Mike and Sully are enrolled at the titular university, hoping to excel in the scaring program. They don't get along at first, and neither of them does well with their studies, the former because he's not intimidating, and the latter because he's coasting on his family name. They find themselves involved in the geekiest fraternity, but pull the group together to prove to the other students and the supercilious dean (Helen Mirren) that they've got what it takes to terrify human children. Compared to any other movie company's product, this would soar, but when stacked up against the majority of the Pixar lineup, Monsters University just can't compete.


That also goes for the short, The Blue Umbrella. It's a simple little love story about two umbrellas who meet during a rainstorm, are briefly separated, but assisted by other inanimate objects in the city, manage to be reunited, along with their attendant humans. Its animation is top-notch, though, giving it a bump over some of the earlier shorts.

Current Feature Rankings:

#1: Finding Nemo (2003)
#2: Ratatouille (2007)
#3: Toy Story 3 (2010)
#4: Brave (2012)
#5: The Incredibles (2004)
#6: Toy Story 2 (1999)
#7: Monsters, Inc. (2001)
#8: Toy Story (1995)
#9: Up (2009)
#10: WALL-E (2008)
#11: Monsters University (2013)
#12: A Bug's Life (1998)
#13: Cars (2006)
#14: Cars 2 (2011)

Current Short Rankings:

#1: Day & Night (paired with Toy Story 3)
#2: Presto (paired with WALL-E)
#3: One Man Band (paired with Cars)
#4: Geri's Game (paired with A Bug's Life)
#5: Lifted (paired with Ratatouille)
#6: La Luna (paired with Brave)
#7: The Blue Umbrella (paired with Monsters University)
#8: Partly Cloudy (paired with Up)
#9: Hawaiian Vacation (paired with Cars 2)
#10: Boundin' (paired with The Incredibles)
#11: For the Birds (paired with Monsters, Inc.)
#12: Knick Knack (paired with Finding Nemo)
#13: Luxo Jr. (paired with Toy Story 2)
#14: Tin Toy (paired with Toy Story)

Inside Out (2015)

And finally, we come to the Pixar movie that's so new, it's still in theaters. Inside Out is about the personified emotions inside an eleven-year-old girl's head, and how she deals with a tough move to a new city. I'm really glad I got to see this movie again, because the circumstances of the first viewing were less-than-ideal. This time around, I was able to really enjoy the nuances and caught more Easter eggs in the background. It didn't improve enough to change a letter grade or anything, but without the weight of expectation and annoying audience members around me, Inside Out got a chance to show off its stuff at last.

That stuff is still awfully talky and expository, though. The cast's performances as Riley's emotions are absolutely stellar, and I still really love the message that it's okay (and even necessary) to be sad sometimes. That said, the movie could stand to be tightened, and could have used more showing instead of telling. It's still a solid recommend, and gives me every indication that Pixar remains the standard by which all other animation companies should aspire.


I wish I could say the same for the short, Lava. It's the tale of a lonely volcano who finds love when another volcano...just kind of stands up from the water she's been living under. It's all set to a song and ukelele tune, and while it has some beautiful animation, its story pales in comparison to what other Pixar shorts have been able to achieve.

Current Feature Rankings:

#1: Finding Nemo (2003)
#2: Ratatouille (2007)
#3: Toy Story 3 (2010)
#4: Brave (2012)
#5: The Incredibles (2004)
#6: Toy Story 2 (1999)
#7: Inside Out (2015)
#8: Monsters, Inc. (2001)
#9: Toy Story (1995)
#10: Up (2009)
#11: WALL-E (2008)
#12: Monsters University (2013)
#13: A Bug's Life (1998)
#14: Cars (2006)
#15: Cars 2 (2011)

Current Short Rankings:

#1: Day & Night (paired with Toy Story 3)
#2: Presto (paired with WALL-E)
#3: One Man Band (paired with Cars)
#4: Geri's Game (paired with A Bug's Life)
#5: Lifted (paired with Ratatouille)
#6: La Luna (paired with Brave)
#7: The Blue Umbrella (paired with Monsters University)
#8: Partly Cloudy (paired with Up)
#9: Hawaiian Vacation (paired with Cars 2)
#10: Boundin' (paired with The Incredibles)
#11: For the Birds (paired with Monsters, Inc.)
#12: Lava (paired with Inside Out)
#13: Knick Knack (paired with Finding Nemo)
#14: Luxo Jr. (paired with Toy Story 2)
#15: Tin Toy (paired with Toy Story)

The Mulligan

In general, Tiffany and I agreed we had to rank each movie as we watched it, and once it was inserted into the list, it couldn't move. But we built a special rule into the project: The Mulligan. Once all the movies were watched, and we were looking at our final lists, we allowed ourselves to make a single change. One movie could move up or down the list as many spots as we saw fit. But just that single change was allowed - no big reshuffle. Tiffany used the opportunity to move Ratatouille two spots up her list (and didn't shift any of the shorts). Now, it's my turn, and looking at the middle of my list has my emotions in an uproar. I could make an argument for the movies ranked from spots #6-#9 to be in pretty much any order. I placed Inside Out after watching it last night, but after letting it sink in for several hours, I think its powerful pull on my heartstrings allowed it to rise a little higher on the list than it deserves. So my Mulligan is going to be a minor one: Switcharoo with Monsters, Inc. The shorts ranking looks fine, though.

So, it's settled! We now have a definitive ranking of the Pixar movies! I suppose I can give you Tiffany's final list, too, though it doesn't look like we differed much (except on the shorts). This project has been so much fun, and I can't stress enough that there isn't a single bad movie in the bunch. Even the one ranked last would get a pretty solid B- on a grading scale. Perhaps my next Rank and File project will have a wider spectrum of quality, though I'm certainly not going to complain about a ranking project in which every single entry can be recommended with an open heart.

Final Feature Rankings:

#1: Finding Nemo (2003)
#2: Ratatouille (2007)
#3: Toy Story 3 (2010)
#4: Brave (2012)
#5: The Incredibles (2004)
#6: Toy Story 2 (1999)
#7: Monsters, Inc. (2001)
#8: Inside Out (2015)
#9: Toy Story (1995)
#10: Up (2009)
#11: WALL-E (2008)
#12: Monsters University (2013)
#13: A Bug's Life (1998)
#14: Cars (2006)
#15: Cars 2 (2011)

Final Short Rankings:

#1: Day & Night (paired with Toy Story 3)
#2: Presto (paired with WALL-E)
#3: One Man Band (paired with Cars)
#4: Geri's Game (paired with A Bug's Life)
#5: Lifted (paired with Ratatouille)
#6: La Luna (paired with Brave)
#7: The Blue Umbrella (paired with Monsters University)
#8: Partly Cloudy (paired with Up)
#9: Hawaiian Vacation (paired with Cars 2)
#10: Boundin' (paired with The Incredibles)
#11: For the Birds (paired with Monsters, Inc.)
#12: Lava (paired with Inside Out)
#13: Knick Knack (paired with Finding Nemo)
#14: Luxo Jr. (paired with Toy Story 2)
#15: Tin Toy (paired with Toy Story)

Tiffany's Final Feature Rankings:

#1: Finding Nemo (2003)
#2: The Incredibles (2004)
#3: Toy Story 3 (2010)
#4: Ratatouille (2007)
#5: Monsters, Inc. (2001)
#6: Brave (2012)
#7: Up (2009)
#8: Toy Story (1995)
#9: Toy Story 2 (1999)
#10: Inside Out (2015)
#11: WALL-E (2008)
#12: A Bug's Life (1998)
#13: Monsters University (2013)
#14: Cars (2006)
#15: Cars 2 (2011)

Tiffany's Final Short Rankings:

#1: Day & Night (paired with Toy Story 3)
#2: Presto (paired with WALL-E)
#3: For the Birds (paired with Monsters, Inc.)
#4: One Man Band (paired with Cars)
#5: La Luna (paired with Brave)
#6: The Blue Umbrella (paired with Monsters University)
#7: Hawaiian Vacation (paired with Cars 2)
#8: Luxo Jr. (paired with Toy Story 2)
#9: Lifted (paired with Ratatouille)
#10: Geri's Game (paired with A Bug's Life)
#11: Knick Knack (paired with Finding Nemo)
#12: Partly Cloudy (paired with Up)
#13: Boundin' (paired with The Incredibles)
#14: Tin Toy (paired with Toy Story)
#15: Lava (paired with Inside Out)
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Last Comic Standing

I'm not really sure why, but lately, I've been trying to expand my culture horizons in directions I haven't really gone before. For example, I've never watched anime, so I've been casting around for recommendations on shows a novice might enjoy. In the realm of books, the unexplored territory is comic books/graphic novels. I've read a couple here and there, of course, but in general, I'm a complete n00b.

I wanted to examine a wide range of styles in one, quick burst, so I devoured three really disparate titles in short order. As I mentioned in my last post, The Wolf Among Us was based on Fables, a comic book series that I'd often heard my fellow nerds discussing. It seemed like a great place to start, so I grabbed Volume #1 (Legends in Exile) and Volume #2 (Animal Farm) from the library.

The game helped prepare me for the universe I was stepping into, but the comic book series created by Bill Willingham is far more grim. In Volume #1 (2002), Sheriff Bigby tries to solve the grisly murder of Snow White's sister, Rose Red. Volume #2 (2003) is even darker, as innocent characters are targeted in a violent revolution originating at the Farm, a separate community for Fables that cannot blend into the human world. I always like the established-story-with-a-twist gimmick, as long as it's executed well, and Fables does a great job of porting fairy tale characters into a miserable, Earth-bound existence that they're constantly struggling against. Nothing in either volume blew me away, but they definitely grabbed my interest enough to continue with the series.

Speaking of established series, there is one comic book I'm intimately familiar with. My sister and I grew up reading Archie comics obsessively. And not just Archie himself, but the whole Riverdale gang. We read the Betty & Veronica digests, the Jughead collections, and my sister collected the Katy Keene romantic series. We snapped up anything that was available on a magazine rack or grocery store checkout line. The Archie series lost its luster at the end of the '80s, and was crying out for a reboot.

Well, wait no longer! Archie #1 (written by Mark Waid and drawn by Fiona Staples) was released this year, and I didn't even bother with the library this time. This is a title I wanted to own. It'd be very easy for an updated Archie to be overly goofy, or for it to swing in the other direction and be overly self-serious in response to Archie's carefree earlier days. Fortunately, it strikes a perfect balance. Archie and Betty have just broken up over something called "The Lipstick Incident", and Jughead and some incidental characters try to engineer their reconciliation at a school dance. Archie and Betty still have lingering feelings for each other, but Archie wants to see what's out there before he decides anything.

As issue #1 comes to a close, we learn that there's a wealthy new family moving to town. They even have a daughter. Wink, wink. The style of the updated artwork is beautiful, and surprisingly adept at making old characters look modern without turning them unrecognizable. I'm really looking forward to seeing where the series goes from here.


Finally, there was a 2015 graphic novel by Victoria Jamieson called Roller Girl, about a young girl's blossoming interest in roller derby. I had heard this book talked up on some podcast or other, and have several friends who are involved in the local derby league, so this seemed like a natural fit. It's very cute. Astrid's mom wants to expose her to all types of culture, and one of her ideas is to take her daughter to a local derby bout. Astrid immediately falls in love with it, and begs to attend a junior derby camp over the summer. Her best friend Nicole is less excited, choosing to attend a dance camp instead. As Astrid becomes more and more enthusiastic about derby and its customs, she and Nicole begin to drift apart.

In a way, a story about how girls respond socially to the time in their lives that they begin to change rapidly is well-worn territory. But combine that with some really compelling art, a nice message about self-acceptance featuring a well-written female protagonist, and a good entry point for kids to learn about a little-understood sport, and you have a really charming book that will help expand the audience for the graphic novel genre. Hey, it worked on me.

Fables, Volume #1 (Legends in Exile): B
Fables, Volume #2 (Animal Farm): B
Archie #1: A-
Roller Girl: B+
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Fairy Tale Ending

As you'll see by any stroll through the Games label, I tend to enjoy games that have strong stories. Not that I don't enjoy mindless games from time to time, but in general, I want to be playing something that's more like an interactive book/movie than just blasting away at some zombies. Luckily, this is a great time to be a gamer if you're into stories.

One popular model lately is games divided into multiple episodes/chapters, and although there are some actions, things mostly hinge on the conversations you have and the choices you make. I finally dipped my toe into this genre with The Wolf Among Us, a game based on the comic book series Fables (which you'll be hearing about again very soon). This universe posits that various fairy tale characters escaped their homeland during the onslaught of attack by a great evil. They've wound up in our world, but no longer lead charmed lives, having to scrape along like all the rest of us now.

In The Wolf Among Us, you play as Bigby Wolf. In the old world, he was the villain, who hunted girls in red cloaks and blew pigs' houses down. Now, he's the Fabletown sheriff, and you soon find yourself trying to establish law and order in a community that hates you. The game opens with a simple call to break up a fight, but it doesn't take long to spiral into a grisly web of murder and corruption.


Whether you're teaming up with Snow White to track down clues or fighting with Georgie Porgie about how he treats the strippers at his club, the responses you have to the questions and challenges of the Fabletown citizens can change the course of the story and how the other characters treat you. Wanna be a goody-two shoes? Go for it. Wanna be a huge jerk? You can do that, too. Show mercy? Cruelly cut a swath through your enemies? It's all available to you.

Just because I like this style of the game doesn't mean I necessarily would like the game itself, but this one definitely struck a chord. I enjoyed the dark and disturbing twist on fairy tales. I enjoyed the art and animation design. I enjoyed the difficulty of trying to pick a play style that would cause other characters to cooperate while staying true to my moral code. So, whether you were relieved when Hansel and Gretel got away, or thought they deserved to get eaten for destroying an old woman's home, I think you'll find something to like here.

The Wolf Among Us: B+
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Camp it Up

Wet Hot American Summer is a polarizing movie. It made no money at the box office, but became a cult success, and is still dividing friends who generally have similar movie tastes to this day. I love it, but have proudly screened it for people who then asked me what in the hell I see in something so unabashedly absurd.

When Netflix announced a limited run of a prequel series called First Day of Camp, I was immediately on board. I was nervous that the attempt to recapture the off-the-wall tone of a movie almost fifteen years old would fall flat, but there was no way in hell I was going to pass up the chance to see this cast again. Janeane Garofalo. Amy Poehler. Paul Rudd. Bradley Cooper. Elizabeth Banks. Christopher Meloni. Molly Shannon. Ken Marino. Joe Lo Truglio. Zak Orth. Michael Ian Black. Michael Showalter. David Hyde Pierce.

And if they (and additional original cast members) weren't enough, there are heaps of amazing cameos as well. A talented cast doesn't automatically mean a great show, though, so I dipped my toe into the series cautiously a few days ago.


Yeah, I'm already done. There are only eight episodes, and they fly by. I'm also happy to report that the series effortlessly nails the gleeful goofiness of the original movie, and even manages to center all the hijinx around some (relatively) stable storylines. They involve weddings, government conspiracies, a staff play, and a rock guitarist hermit.

It doesn't help sell any comedy to over-explain the jokes, but there are plenty of fun Easter eggs to spot for fans of the movie. Do those street punks in the convenience store look familiar? They should! Actors who were already in their '20s and '30s to play teenagers in the 2001 movie are now playing even younger, and they incorporate that in hilarious ways. Naturally, everyone has to wind up in their starting position for the last day of camp shown in the movie, so it's grand fun to see the convoluted twists they go through to get there.

I'm not sure how much an audience who never saw (or didn't like) the movie would react to this series, but for the fans who have been endlessly rewatching and quoting Wet Hot American Summer for fourteen years, this is a camp you'll never want to come home from.

Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp: A-
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Curl Up and Dye

Hello, all! Today's book review is about Emily Schultz' 2012 novel, The Blondes. Now, in this book, Hazel, the pregnant narrator, is desperately trying to reach home so she can put together some semblance of a normal life and come to terms with her rocky romantic past. Only trouble is, a virus has infected the populace, causing blonde women to attack others in a zombie-like rage. And here I am, overjoyed and excited to tell you that I really enjoyed a book about a doomed romance being seamlessly woven into a story about apocalyptic obstacles.

And that book was called Grasshopper Jungle.

Oh, The Blondes? It was a waste of time. If the story wanted to focus on Hazel's personal woes, then all the stuff about the virus and the attacks is a distraction. If the story wanted to focus on the horror elements of society breaking down into fear and suspicion over this strange affliction, then Hazel droning on and on about her married lover and impending baby is obnoxious. And if the intent was to split the story into two equally interesting directions, then I'm afraid Schultz just isn't up to the task, and winds up failing at both.


It's not hard to see where this broke down. The scenes that are supposed to describe the mayhem of the blonde attacks are dull and colorless. And the scenes that are supposed to engage us in Hazel's story don't connect, because she's a pretty boring drip of a person. Really, the only thing the book was able to nail is the tedium of trying to cut through red tape in times of emergency.

Sometimes, an artist's reach is beyond their grasp, and we're left with an interesting, ambitious failure. For instance, Jupiter Ascending wasn't a great movie, but I'm glad I saw it. Unfortunately, that's not the case here, as The Blondes isn't good enough to enjoy on a pure level, isn't bad enough to enjoy on an ironic level, and isn't well-written enough to enjoy on a technical level. Anything it attempts to do - from horror to romance to drama to resolution - is better served in other books. I guess blondes don't have as much fun as people say.

The Blondes: C
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Rank and File: Pixar Movies - Part 6

It's sequel night for the Pixar movie project! Tiffany and I settled in with some Chinese food and pie, and rocketed through a double-feature of the next two movies, both of which are continuations of earlier franchises. One was really, really good, and one...wasn't. One was really, really easy to place on the list, and one...wasn't. I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Let's hit it!

Toy Story 3 (2010)

If the first Toy Story was about forging a new family, and Toy Story 2 was about the importance of maintaining that family, Toy Story 3 is about how to let go. Andy is all grown up and ready to go to college, so he's faced with the decision of what to do with all his old toys. Through a series of mishaps, they wind up at a prison-like daycare run by a plush bear, and must plan a daring escape. But escape to where?

This is the most heartfelt of the Toy Story movies, which is saying something after Toy Story 2 reduced me to tears. It captures the heartache of losing someone you care about, and teaches that while change is inevitable, you can face the future while still cherishing the past. It also happens to be an extremely funny and smart movie, so it's not all about tugging at the heartstrings.

Back when it first came out, I liked it, but didn't climb on the bandwagon of people who were shouting its praises from the hills. Now, though, I see that Toy Story 3 belongs in the upper echelon of Pixar movies.


Oh, and guess what? The short is outstanding, too. Day & Night is the almost-wordless tale of two figures who are anthropomorphic representations of daytime and nighttime. They start off not understanding each other, then hating each other, then showing off for each other, and finally, by realizing that they have more in common than they could ever dream. It's as heartfelt and funny and witty as Toy Story 3, all packed into a few minutes. This one is my clear favorite to date.

Current Feature Rankings:

#1: Finding Nemo (2003)
#2: Ratatouille (2007)
#3: Toy Story 3 (2010)
#4: The Incredibles (2004)
#5: Toy Story 2 (1999)
#6: Monsters, Inc. (2001)
#7: Toy Story (1995)
#8: Up (2009)
#9: WALL-E (2008)
#10: A Bug's Life (1998)
#11: Cars (2006)

Current Short Rankings:

#1: Day & Night (paired with Toy Story 3)
#2: Presto (paired with WALL-E)
#3: One Man Band (paired with Cars)
#4: Geri's Game (paired with A Bug's Life)
#5: Lifted (paired with Ratatouille)
#6: Partly Cloudy (paired with Up)
#7: Boundin' (paired with The Incredibles)
#8: For the Birds (paired with Monsters, Inc.)
#9: Knick Knack (paired with Finding Nemo)
#10: Luxo Jr. (paired with Toy Story 2)
#11: Tin Toy (paired with Toy Story)

Cars 2 (2011)

Cars has been resting comfortably at the bottom of the Pixar ranking since we watched it. It must have been popular, though, because of all the properties, this was the next one after Toy Story to get another whirl. I'm not sure why that is, and after watching it, I'm still confused.

Cars 2 puts Lightning McQueen in a series of races around the world, but mostly ignores him to focus on Mater the tow truck, who gets wrapped up in an international secret agent ring, dealing with the struggle between gasoline and alternative fuel. What follows is a shockingly straightforward spy movie.

Every other Pixar movie aims to dig at a deeper emotional level. Cars 2 doesn't bother at all, choosing instead of focus on gadgets that are perfect for - ahem - merchandising. Every other Pixar movie is written with intelligence, to appeal to the entire audience, both kids and adults. Again, Cars 2 ignores this, and just gives Larry the Cable Guy yet another platform to spin his aw-shucks-ain't-I-a-dumb-'Murican jokes.

If I were judging this just as a movie, I'd say it was fine, if not overly impressive. But judging this as a Pixar movie, it's the first truly disappointing entry, and its only redeeming feature is that it's extremely easy to rank.


Hawaiian Vacation is the short, and instead of original content, it deals with the characters from Toy Story 3. It's a fairy cute telling of the toys trying to put on the best faux resort experience for Ken and Barbie that they can. It doesn't beat any of the truly clever shorts, but it's always fun to spend time with these characters.

Current Feature Rankings:

#1: Finding Nemo (2003)
#2: Ratatouille (2007)
#3: Toy Story 3 (2010)
#4: The Incredibles (2004)
#5: Toy Story 2 (1999)
#6: Monsters, Inc. (2001)
#7: Toy Story (1995)
#8: Up (2009)
#9: WALL-E (2008)
#10: A Bug's Life (1998)
#11: Cars (2006)
#12: Cars 2 (2011)

Current Short Rankings:

#1: Day & Night (paired with Toy Story 3)
#2: Presto (paired with WALL-E)
#3: One Man Band (paired with Cars)
#4: Geri's Game (paired with A Bug's Life)
#5: Lifted (paired with Ratatouille)
#6: Partly Cloudy (paired with Up)
#7: Hawaiian Vacation (paired with Cars 2)
#8: Boundin' (paired with The Incredibles)
#9: For the Birds (paired with Monsters, Inc.)
#10: Knick Knack (paired with Finding Nemo)
#11: Luxo Jr. (paired with Toy Story 2)
#12: Tin Toy (paired with Toy Story)
 
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